When Jeff Met Jane
by venusgirl1708
Summary: Joker/FemShepard story. In my head I think these two would've met before the Normandy so this is my take on their story! Also done as the playlist meme with each chapter title as a randomized song from my playlist.
1. Thriller

**Thriller**

Orientations were always a long affair. Lots of speeches by people you don't know yet whilst sitting next to a bunch of new recruits you also don't know yet. The whole thing seemed impersonal to her and not to mention long as hell.

During a particularly long speech by what had to be the oldest man alive, she inadvertently let out an audible sigh. "I know, right? Maybe his specialty is boring the enemy to death." Jane turned her head to her right and saw a boy the same age as her shifting in his seat.

"What?" she replied.

"I mean it! He's got to be a least a hundred years old," he said. Then he adopted an older, shakier voice, "'Back in my day we had uniforms made of cotton; none of this, new-fangled poly-blend material. And we had to hike fifteen miles to get them cleaned!'"

"In the snow!" Jane retorted.

"Uphill!"

"Both ways!"

The two recruits' shoulders started shaking from attempting to hold in their sniggers.

"Well at least there is one good thing to come out of this orientation," Jane said between silent giggles.

"What's that?" the boy asked.

"A new friend," she stated, holding out her hand. "Jane Shepard, thrilled to meet you."

The boy gave her a sideways smile and took her hand. "Jeff Moreau; likewise."

* * *

_A/N: So yeah, here's my story. I always liked the idea of Joker and Shepard having met before the Normandy. For some reason it just makes sense to me. Anyway, I'm going to try and make this Shepard as ambiguous as possible so people can imagine their own Shepard (or themselves...) as her. Sound good? Ok! More to come just keep your pants on..._

_Disclaimer: All characters, locations, etc. belong to Bioware._


	2. U Can't Touch This

**U Can't Touch This**

"You have to go out at least one night a week Jeff!"

"No I don't, I have to study and practice the advanced evasive maneuvers for next week's practical exam!"

Jane stared at her best friend with her hands on her hips. "Jeff! Come on! You need to relax a little. I don't think I've seen you smile since freshman year."

"Ha!" Jeff laughed humorlessly while avoiding Shepard's "mom stare." If he didn't look into her eyes, he wouldn't break his resolve. "That reminds me, one of my professors said I never smiled either. She's started calling me Joker." He wasn't sure he was okay with the nickname. After all he was used to being called all sorts of names while growing up; Gimpy, Staggers, the Bumbling Boy with the Bad Bones. Ok, that last one was from his little sister as a joke, but it was still a nickname nonetheless. This was the first one that didn't have anything to do with his disease so he really wasn't sure how to feel about it.

"Well Joker, since you won't come out and party then I brought the party to you!" Jane announced, pulling a few bottles out of her bag. Jeff immediately decided he liked the new name. When she said it, the name sounded right. Like she'd been calling him that since the day they met at orientation 2 years ago.

"Alright fine I guess," he conceded; only slightly pretending to be bothered by the interruption.

"Come on!" Jane exclaimed while handing him a bottle. "I bet you fifty credits that I can hold more liquor than you can!" Jane uncorked a bottle of her own with a challenging smirk on her lips.

"Oh please," he responded, uncorking his own bottle and gesturing to his self. "You can't touch this!"

_A/N: Yay drunken studying! Works everytime... Between some of these first few chapters time will just magically pass, mainly because I'm not entirely sure how long Alliance training is, how old Shepard actually is in the first game, etc. Safe to say though that she and Joker were 18 in that first chapter and probably like 20 or 21 or so in this one. Let me know what you think!  
Oh, I probably should have mentioned before, although you probably figured it out, that the chapter/song title will appear in the chapter itself somewhere, as best I can._


	3. Jump

**Jump**

Jane watched Joker cross the stage at graduation. He was beaming from ear to ear and she could tell he wasn't even embarrassed at having to use his crutches in public today. They handed him his diploma and pinned his wings to his collar. After a few more speeches, the ceremony ended and Jane shuffled through the crowd in order to find him.

"Congrats Joker! No one deserves this more than you!" Jane shouted as she pulled him into a hug.

"Hey watch it! Don't hug me so tight! Geez, Jane I think you're more excited than I am." Joker commented. It was true. Jane was practically jumping out of her shoes, she was so happy for him.

"I got you a present for this momentous occasion!" Jane declared as she dug through her bag.

"It's not a model ship is it? I know you like them, but really, what else are you supposed to do with them other than paint them and look at them?" Joker asked.

"No silly, it's not. And if you don't like my models then they don't like you either!" Jane stuck her tongue out at him.

"Really? We both just graduated this week and are supposed to be entering the adult world and your retort is a juvenile comment finished with sticking your tongue out at me?"

Jane sighed, "Just close your eyes please." Joker did as he was told, waiting patiently. "Ok open them!"

She saw him smile as he took the baseball cap from her hands. "Standard Alliance issued! I figured since we're officially Alliance soldiers now we should dress the part. I considered about getting you a t-shirt, but since you have so many I thought maybe something different. Do you like it?"

"Totally!" Joker exclaimed and put it on his head then struck what must have been his version of a manly pose. "How does it look? Am I not an incredibly dashing Alliance pilot who'll soon have ladies from every galaxy throwing their underclothes at him?"

Jane burst out laughing. "It looks good Joker. You wear hats really well actually. Let's get a picture with it on! We have to remember this moment," Jane exclaimed pulling out her omni-tool.

"On the count of three," she prompted. "One."

She threw her free arm around Joker.

"Two."

He smiled and held up both of his hands with his thumbs up.

"Three!"

She clicked the picture while at the same time sneaking in a kiss on his cheek.

"Hey what was that for?" Joker asked.

"For congratulations, it's not every day you graduate top of the class."

"Thanks," he replied. The tips of his ears had reddened a little. "Let's have a look at this picture.

In the picture, Jane could see the crinkles in her nose from trying not to giggle while she snuck in her little peck on his cheek. Joker had his thumbs up and was still smiling, but his eyes were slightly wider than normal from surprise.

They both laughed at his face. "I like it!" Joker declared. "Let's both get copies!"

_A/N: You are no match for my ninja kiss! Sorry, sugar rush... So, suprise! Joker gets his signature cap from Shepard herself. Coincidence? I think not! Ok I'm done with the sugar..._


	4. Don't Stop Me Now

**Don't Stop Me Now**

Joker couldn't believe it, he just could not believe it. When he heard what happened on Akuze he almost fell right out of his chair. He had learned that there was only one survivor but no way, _no way,_ could it be Shepard. Within hours of learning what happened on Akuze, he received a transmission from the Alliance ship that had picked up the survivor.

"Jane, is that really you?" he asked the moment her face appeared on his terminal.

"No Joker it's the Easter Bunny." Her words were slightly slower and more slurred then normal and he could see the IV in her arm.

Despite himself, he chuckled, "Damn and I was hoping for some chocolate too. How're you doing? Pain meds sound like they're working." Joker took a second to assess her injuries as best he could through his screen. She had bruises everywhere and bandages on her neck and arms. But seeing as how she was awake and talking to him must mean that she wasn't too seriously injured.

"I'm good now. Just needed to talk to you," she replied.

"About what?" Joker responded.

"Oh nothing in particular, I just needed to hear a familiar voice." She leaned in closer to the screen and added with a whisper, "These doctors aren't very chatty. It's like they're afraid to talk to me other than to inform me of my various injuries."

Joker chuckled again. "Well, just keep talking to them then. One of them is bound to crumble under the relentless questioning that is Shepard trying to make conversation."

She smiled at his comment. "Alright I'll try," she agreed with a slight sigh. "They're taking me to the Citadel for additional treatment for a couple of weeks, any chance you'll be swinging by?"

"I'm already requesting the time off and charting the course."

Jane immediately looked concerned. "No I didn't mean that, I just meant if your ship happens to be coming this way that y-"

"Don't stop me now Jane, I'm coming to see you."

"Ok," she sighed again.

"Now get some rest. I'll see you in a few days." Joker waved goodbye at her through the terminal and ended the call. He sat there for few seconds before letting out a sigh of relief. She was alive.

_A/N: Again, no idea how much time has passed since graduation but I'm thinking like a year or two maybe? They've kept in touch too the whole time, letters, emails, and such. Comment and enjoy!_


	5. Good Time

**Good Time**

"I thought they were kidding when they said you were my pilot!" Jane ran up to Joker and gave him a quick hug.

"Same here. I've only been here for couple months though learning the systems, and we're still getting more crew members. Our captain hasn't even arrived yet.

"When does he get here?" Jane asked.

"Tomorrow. Some guy named Anderson, I hear he's a pretty decent guys though." Joker replied.

"Good," she nodded. "Well I have to put my things away and get settled but we'll talk more at dinner, sound good?"

"Can't wait!" Joker started to turn his chair back to his terminal but before he got there he shouted back to Shepard. "Hey, if you and I are on the same ship, we're going to have a good time!"

Jane laughed and turned around. "You know it Flyboy! This ship won't know what hit her!"

_A/N: Short installment I know. Working on more chapters today. Feel free to comment or review so I know what you guys think so far!_


	6. Send Me on My Way

**Send Me on My Way**

Shepard took a look at the fellow shipmates she had acquired. There were two humans, a turian, a krogan, and a quarian. Well if that wasn't an odd group of comrades, she didn't know what was.

"What do you think about some of these people?" she found herself asking Joker one night.

"I like them!"

"All of them?"

"Yeah!" Joker responded. "It's our motley crew that, despite the odds, will rise up and save the universe from intergalactic scum and strife; while at the same time rescuing animals that are stuck in high trees and saving children from evil step-parents!"

Jane let out a snort of laughter. "Alright no more vintage sitcoms and cop shows for you!"

"What?" Joker pretended to look affronted. "Those shows are classics! Plus, I have to do something while flying the ship late at night." Jane merely rolled her eyes.

"Jane, seriously, if anyone can make all these different species get along it's you. I mean look at me. I'm not exactly a people person yet you managed to ninja your way across my defenses and become one of my best friends."

Jane was slightly touched by his words, she never really realized that he never spoke of any other friends. Sure there were people he was nice and friendly towards but she didn't think he considered any of them friends.

"One of your best friends?" she asked with a sly grin on her face. "I thought I was your only best friend!" She winked at him.

"Well, I wasn't going to say anything, but the Normandy here is giving you a run for your money!" Joker retorted.

"I see. Well you can tell your new girlfriend that we need to head to Therum. I have a feeling we'll be picking up one more for our 'motley crew' as you put it." Jane informed him.

"Just send me on my way Commander, and we'll get you there."

Jane started to walk away but thought of something and turned around. "Hey Joker, I never thought of you as an ass man."

"What?!" Joker whipped his chair around to look at Jane. "Where did that come from?"

"The Normandy! Your new girlfriend has the biggest ass I've ever seen," and a hearty chuckle to herself she continued her path to the staircase.

_A/N: Ahaha! Butt humor... Incredibly cheesy I know but sometimes I just can't help myself. Hope you guys are still liking it so far. I'm sending you hugs and adorable baby animals through the screen if I could. I'll be posting more later today hopefully if not by tonight. Comment if you dare! ;)_


	7. The Minute I Met You

**The Minute I Met You**

Joker hated waiting. While, yes, he would much rather be on the ship and not walking around strange planets getting shot at all the time, he never liked the part where he just sat there and waited.

Well at least this time he had something to do. He grabbed his crutches and started to make his way to the medical bay, giving his relief pilot a nod to take over. Dr. Chakwas wanted to give him yet another check-up. He appreciated her concern but seriously, was once a week really necessary?

Despite his best efforts to maintain his "I really could care less" attitude during these weekly appointments, Joker found he was starting to like the doctor. There were times she vaguely reminded him of his own mother. She'd scold him, remind him to take his medicine, and encourage him to eat with the rest of the crew rather than take his meals back to his cockpit. Joker smirked at that last one. Yes, eating with the crew turned out to be good advice. He had gotten to know a few more of the personnel better as well as Shepard and her comrades too. It turns out Garrus knew about as many good jokes as he did, and even a few new ones he hadn't heard as well.

"Joker, you came to your appointment on time for once! I didn't even have to nag you over the intercom this time." Chakwas greeted him. He made his way over to the examination table and sat down on it.

"Yeah yeah, I know. I figured get it over with sooner rather than later," he replied.

"How's the Commander's team doing? Heard anything?"

"No they've been down there for a few hours now though. It shouldn't be too much longer."

As if on cue, the Shepard's voice came through on his ear piece. "Joker, this is the ground team requesting pick-up."

"On our way Commander."

"Liara is injured. Nothing too serious, but let Chakwas know we'll be heading her way once we're on board." Shepard sounded very out of breath. It must have been a tough mission he thought.

Joker sent a message to the relief pilot, giving him the go ahead to retrieve the team.

"The Commander said Liara was injured and that they're bringing her here right away Doc," he informed her.

"Understood, you're free to go Joker. Looks like your left foot's bones are a little more strained so don't lean on it too much in the next week or so, otherwise you're good!"

"Good looking you mean Doc!" Joker retorted with a wink and joking smile.

Chakwas started to laugh but stopped almost immediately when Shepard and came in with Garrus holding Liara.

"There was an explosion and Liara got a large piece of shrapnel in her thigh," Shepard updated the doctor. "I don't think it's too serious, but we didn't want to remove it on the battlefield." Joker still thought she still sounded out of breath but it was probably the adrenaline was still pumping through her veins. It happened when Shepard went into "soldier mode."

"That was a good decision Commander. You did the right thing," Chakwas praised as Garrus set her down on the table Joker had just left open. Liara was squirming quite a bit. Joker could tell she knew enough not to itch or touch her wound at all, but the pain must have been hard to handle. The doctor instantly gave her two shots, one pain reliever, one sedative, and as soon as Liara was out, went to work.

Shepard came to stand next to Joker on the side of the room to watch the procedure which didn't take very long surprisingly. Once Liara was still, Chakwas simply put on some goggles to help her see and grabbed a tool that looked like a tweezers. After a few minutes, she managed to pull out the shrapnel slowly but carefully.

While Chakwas was sealing the wound, Shepard turned to Joker and took off her helmet. "Well thank goodness that's taken care of. I thought I had shielded her from most of the blast but apparently not."

"It could've been worse Shepard," Joker comforted her. "I'm sure she'll be back on her feet in just a few days, right Doc?"

"Mmhmm…" Chakwas was stilled distracted and examining the medi-gel's progress on the wound.

"From the minute I met you Doc I knew you'd be able to handle anything we threw at you!" Shepard also supplied.

"As long as they're not dead, I can fix just about any injury from the field," she said, finally standing up straight and pulling off her goggles. "I even reattached someone's thumb once!"

"Wow Doc, I didn't know that!" Joker exclaimed. "That must have rocked! You should put that shit in your resume, 'Can also reattach various appendages.'"

Chakwas laughed and Joker turned to see if Shepard had laughed too. Instantly, he knew something was wrong.

"Commander?" Joker prompted. She looked at him but with unfocused eyes.

"Shepard!" he said a bit louder this time, giving her shoulders a little shake. Still her eyes couldn't recognize him.

"JANE!" he practically shouted. Her eyes finally snapped onto his.

"Joker I-" and without another word, she collapsed at his feet.

_A/N: Ah the dreaded cliffhanger! Anyone have a guess what happened to Shepard? Anyone? Well I do, but it'll be a day or two before the next chapter is posted. I'm in the process of moving so I technically have to be packing... yeah that's not going too well._

_On a side note, when I first started writing this I was going to alternate between Joker's and Jane's point of view pretty evenly, but I'm starting to think I might lean a little more towards Joker. There'll still be plenty more Jane POV but I don't know, I just like Joker so much and he's fun to write! Let me know what y'all think while I go get me some grub. If I could share and pass you guys food through the internet I would, but I can't so you know... it's the thought that counts and all that crap. Tootles!_


	8. Blue Moon

**Blue Moon**

Joker could only stare at her on the floor. _"What just happened?"_ he thought to himself. Instantly Chakwas came over and started depriving Shepard of her armor, trying to find an injury of some sort. She got all the way down to her boots and still couldn't see anything; until they turned her on her back that is.

Shepard's back was overcome, no, decimated by dozens and dozens of tiny pieces of shrapnel. There wasn't a square inch present that wasn't occupied by either metal or blood.

"Garrus!" Chakwas shouted. "Put her on the other examination table, quickly!" The turian did as he was told then walked over to Joker.

"We should go," Garrus said to him. Joker said nothing, just continued to stare at Shepard while the doctor moved as fast as lightning to try and get all the pieces out before she bled to death.

"Joker," Garrus tried again, giving arm a little shake. "Come on we-"

"No!" he shouted, finally finding his voice. "I'm staying!" Without any pause, Joker walked over to the examination table, moved it so he was placed directly in front of Shepard's head, sat down, and grabbed both of her hands in his own.

Garrus let out a sad sigh and left the medical bay to inform the crew of Liara and now Shepard's status.

Joker sat like a statue simply holding onto Shepard's hands and staring at her eyes, hoping and wishing as hard as he could that they would open again.

Somewhere in the back of his mind he could hear Chakwas calling in some nurses and then giving them instructions when they arrived, but his brain deemed the sounds as not important.

_"Figures," _he thought to himself. _"I finally find someone who doesn't mind being around my jokes, and my attitude, and my questionable taste in old TV shows and she dies on me."_

_"Shepard's not dead yet," _a second voice in his head popped up.

_"She's unconscious. In my entire lifetime of knowing her, she has never had an injury so bad it made her pass out. Clearly this is as bad as it gets."_

_"Clearly you're being irrational, you butthead..." _This other voice was sounding more and more like what Shepard would be saying to him if she was standing by his side right now.

Joker's mind kept arguing with himself while the medical team worked on Shepard; hooking up machines while attempting to retrieve all of the shrapnel from her back.

_"All of that blood? She has to be dead."_

_"I told you, you're being a stupid ass about this. Just breathe and think about something nice. Like sandwiches!"_ Ok this voice was definitely his inner Shepard. He could even see her saying all of these words in her signature "mom stare."

Yeah, if she were awake, she'd be telling him to think positive and stop freaking out. Joker sighed to himself. She was right. Shit, somehow, even while being unconscious, Shepard had managed to win yet another argument with him.

"Joker?"

He snapped his head up to look at the doctor. He could have sworn he had been sitting there for days arguing with himself but in reality, it was only hours after she had collapsed. "What? What is it?"

"She's out of danger," Chakwas informed him with a small smile. "I don't know how long it will take her to wake up or even fully recover but I do know that she will indeed recover."

Joker let out a breath of relief. If he were the sappy type, he would probably have cried too, but who wants to be one 'those guys.'

_"Told you so!"_

_"Yeah well don't get used to it. It's only once in a blue moon that you win these arguments." _

_A/N: Suspense held no longer I hope! Next chapter I think is Joker too, because she needs to recover and crap like that. I was originally going to have the collapse, surgery, and recovery as one big chapter but I thought it was better to flesh it out more and separate the three._

_As for my 3 lovely reviewers so far, hugs to you!  
Jules Hawk: Me too, Joker is the LI that could not be. Sigh...  
Stella-Siha: I think maybe because Joker is his own character? Like he's the constant in the story. Because no matter how hard one may try to keep Shepard as ambiguous as possible, you always put yourself in her shoes. So you always imagine your own personal Shepard. Like there's already a few bits of me in her which is why maybe Joker is more fun to read? Maybe? Question mark?  
Celestia's Paladin: Bestest Buds is always a good start! (Just ask my fiance...) And thank you! You make my confidence fly! Extra hugs to you! :)_

_And now for a mandatory dance break... Posting more tonight or early tomorrow morning!_


	9. Express

**Express**

Joker woke up with a start. For a minute he was confused by his surroundings but then remembered the events from earlier that day. He lifted his head of the side of the examination table where Shepard still laid unconscious and checked the time. He'd been asleep for only 3 hours.

After refusing to leave Shepard's side, Chakwas had begrudgingly allowed Joker to stay the night in the med bay. Tali had brought him some dinner when it was served, and Liara had been allowed to leave shortly thereafter; leaving Joker alone with Shepard and his thoughts. Eventually he drifted off to sleep but didn't understand why he had woken up so suddenly.

He wasn't having a bad dream, or any kind of dream really, so that wasn't what had woken him. He looked to see if anyone was walking around and couldn't see a single soul, so no one had made a sudden noise.

The only other thing it could have been was Shepard. He looked down at his hands still holding hers but she hadn't moved at all.

"Shepard?" he tried softly. Nothing, not even a twitch; the only movement she made was her slow and even breathing.

Joker exhaled the small breath he had been holding in. "You know you have to wake up sometime," he finally said to her. "Just because you're injured and have major blood loss does not give you the excuse to lie around all day!"

Somehow, it felt good to be talking to her again, even though she wasn't actually responding.

"I remember the first time I ever saw you sleep. It was during junior year; you insisted that I go out and do something but I refused saying I had to study or something. And so you pulled some bottles out of your bag and declared that we have a party right in my dorm room." Joker had started to genuinely smile now at the memory.

"Then you bet me that I couldn't hold my liquor as well as you could so we both opened a bottle and chugged it down right then and there. I don't remember much more after that, I don't even think we ever figured out who won. But I do remember waking up the next morning; you curled up in a ball, with your head on my chest just sleeping. We were both fully clothed and everything so at least we dodged that bullet, but-" Joker paused. He didn't quite want to express what he had thought at that point, but… well, no one was around and Shepard was unconscious so what the hell.

"But I remember thinking that was the first time I ever really saw you. I could see the faded freckles on your face, that tiny scar you have under your eyes, I could even see where you had drooled all over my t-shirt, but don't worry I won't tell anyone that part," Joker laughed.

"I remember thinking that was the first time I saw how beautiful you really were. And that I was truly lucky just to be your friend and have you around. It's sappy, I know, but hey it's truth.

"You just have to wake up Jane," Joker asked her. "And if you could wake up like you did that morning, where you just looked at me and laughed, that'd be even better."

He waited for a few minutes.

Nothing; still she didn't move.

"Alright Shepard, if you don't wake up in the next five minutes, I'll take all of your models ships and paint Asari dancers on every single one of them.

Pain immediately shot through his hands as Shepard finally squeezed them back.

"You wouldn't dare!" she said with a groggy voice.

"I will if you don't stop squeezing my hands. Damn, Shepard that hurts!" Joker said between winces.

"Sorry," she apologized and eased off her pressure. Joker gave his hands a couple of stretches and flexed his fingers to check for breaks. After a couple of minutes though, they went back to feeling normal.

"They're good; no breaks," he told her. "How're you feeling?"

"Incredibly stiff and my head feels like it's in a vice, but other that I'm ok," Shepard paused while looking at where she was. "What happened?"

Joker relayed the story of the shrapnel and her back to her. When he finished, she just sat there in silence for a few seconds.

"And you've been sitting here the whole time?" she finally asked him.

"Well," he hesitated. "Yeah I have been. What's wrong with that? You'd do the same for me and you know it!"

Shepard pursed her lips, which Joker knew was her sign of defeat.

"You should go get some rest now Joker, I'm fine."

Now that she was awake, he could feel sleep poking insistently on the back of eyes.

"You sure you'll be ok Jane?" he asked.

"Yes I'll be fine," she responded. "I'll call Chakwas so she knows I'm awake, but you need sleep. No offense, but you look like hell."

"Alright, alright," Joker conceded. He straightened up, grabbed his crutches, and gave her a quick peck on her hairline. Then proceeded to the empty examination table with the pillow Chakwas had left out for him earlier.

He set the pillow down on the head of the table then laid down and closed his eyes.

"I meant in your own bed you ass. You need to get out of this room!" Shepard scolded him.

"Joker isn't here right now, but if you'd like to leave a slightly insulting but somehow well-intentioned message, he'll reply to it as soon as he wakes up. Thank you!"

"Ugh…" Shepard sighed exasperatedly as she called for the doctor.

Joker was trying not to chuckle as he fell back asleep.

_A/N: Sorry for the slightly sappy installment but I wanted to show that Joker has admired her since their junior year. He doesn't realize he has feelings yet, but that's when they started. So... yeah... how about that local sports team?_

_Celestia's Paladin: My inner Shepard is similar to the one I'm writing. The slightly 'mom-ish' one who gives me a pep talk yet also tells me that I really should be eating something other than cookies for supper, and go apologize to your fiance for making him run to the grocery store again. She never lets me have any fun..._

_Also, what does everyone think about the song titles that are put in? Recognize them? Have you noticed them? Liked them? Hated them? Think they're clever? Think they're stupid? Let me know!_


	10. Raise Your Glass

**Raise Your Glass**

Shepard was restless. She'd been practically confined to her quarters by Chakwas for nearly four days now and her mind was starting to lose it. Joker had been nice enough to get her a new model ship for her to construct; the Normandy herself.

"Just make sure when you paint it, you put a little picture of me in the cockpit!" he had teased.

Shepard had completed the model within the first 24 hours of her bed rest. Now, every time Joker brought her meal she would complain about nothing to do. In response, he told her to watch some of the old TV shows that were his favorites. Sometimes he would even stay and watch a few with her.

In fact, Joker seemed to be spending an inordinate amount of time checking up on her; at least three times a day, if not four. And was it her imagination, or was he staring at her face more than normal? Every time she turned her head to look at him, Joker would be looking right back at her. And there was something about his expression that she couldn't place.

_"That's it!"_ Shepard thought to herself. _"When he brings me dinner tonight, I'm just going to ask him about it."_

A few hours later, during dinner time, Shepard was watching one of Joker's old cop shows when she heard her doors open.

"About time, I'm starving! And you can sit your ass in that chair right there and tell me what is wrong. Why have you been acting strange?" Shepard demanded.

"I thought bringing a human food was a sign of friendship, apparently I was wrong and it's an act of war…"

Shepard snapped her head up at the unexpected voice and saw Garrus, standing there with her food tray and looking uncomfortable.

"Oh sorry Garrus," she apologized. "I thought you were Joker."

"Ah, that would explain the swearing," he said, handing her the tray.

"What?"

"You only ever swear when talking to or about Joker. Even in the heat of battle, when you've been shot in the arm or leg or something, you always keep your language in check," Garrus answered. "Granted you usually just yell like crazy instead, but you never swear."

"I didn't know you paid that close attention Garrus," Shepard stated.

"It comes with C-Sec training. Observe the people around you; friends and foes alike."

"I suppose that makes sense," she muttered through mouthfuls of food. "Where is Joker tonight by the way?"

"Piloting the ship of course; he's taken so much time off during your recovery and tonight he finally noticed that the Normandy's heat sinks or something are misaligned. Also the relief pilot has apparently messed up all of the settings on his chair so it will take the whole night just to fix it," Garrus told her. "Also I volunteered to bring you dinner tonight. I haven't had the opportunity to check on you since you got out of the medical bay and wanted to see how you were doing."

Shepard smiled at the thought. "I'm doing fine Garrus. Doc says I should be ready to leave my room by tomorrow so that's exciting."

"I'll bet," Garrus agreed. "You should raise your glass to that! I know how you feel. Once had to spend a week at the Citadel's hospital. We were chasing a mercenary who had laid all kinds of traps around his hideout. One of the other officers stepped on a mine and both of my legs got burned up pretty bad in the blast. It was the longest week of my life."

They both sat quietly for a few minutes while Shepard finished her meal.

"Hey Garrus," she asked, breaking the silence. "Has Joker been acting weird to you at all? Like have you noticed anything different about him these last couple of days?"

Garrus shifted in seat. Not that Shepard was an expert on reading turian body language or anything, but it looked as if he wasn't sure whether to answer or not.

"Well," he started hesitantly. "I don't think I've ever seen him spend that much time away from the cockpit; but then again his friend, I doubt, has ever been that seriously injured before so it's bound to shake him a little."

He had answered her very slowly, as if he was carefully choosing which words to say.

"There's more to it than that," Shepard asserted. "You're not quite telling me everything. Please Garrus? I'm asking you as a friend."

The turian gave a reluctant sigh and said, "When you passed out in the med bay it was like something in Joker clicked on. Like the way the sound of a gunshot will click you into 'soldier mode.' Except in this case, the gunshot was you passing out and 'soldier mode' was…" Garrus paused trying to select the right word. "…was 'protector mode.'

"The only people to go near you was the doctor and the nurses but I have a feeling if someone else had tried to approach the examination table, they would have found a crutch aimed at their head," Garrus sniggered a bit.

"That doesn't make sense though," Shepard wondered out loud; more to herself than Garrus. "He's seen me injured before, even visited me in the hospital, but he's never been protective over me. Usually he'll only visit for a day, maybe two, but then he returns right to work."

Garrus pondered this for a minute. "Has he ever seen you actually get injured? For instance, has he ever been present when the injury actually occurred or has he always shown up during your recovery?"

Shepard considered his words. It was true, Joker had only ever been around after she had gotten the actual injury but, "Why would that make a difference?" she asked aloud.

"It's like I said before, seeing you pass out could have been what triggered his odd behavior. If you go back to my original example, when you hear gunfire, you switch into 'soldier mode' whereas someone could switch into 'panic mode' or 'wet myself mode.' When he sees a friend collapse, he could switch into 'freak-out mode' or 'run away mode' or in this case, 'protector mode.' At least that's how I see it." Garrus concluded.

"My guess is that when Joker sees you up and walking about tomorrow that he'll return to his old, sarcastic and slightly insensitive self again," Garrus offered. "Trust me."

The turian got up to leave, taking Shepard's empty tray with him.

"Garrus?"

He stopped and turned to look at her.

"Thanks for checking on me," she smiled. "And for the food too; but just so you know, if you ever bring me oyster stew, that is most definitely an act of war."

He smiled back, "Understood Commander."

After he left Shepard turned the cop show she had been watching back on. She was starting to like these shows.

_A/N: Super Garrus, to the rescue! You now have a mental image of a turian with his hands on his hips and a cape blowing in the wind... Lots of dialogue but trust me there's a point to it! (Hint hint- there might be a Garrus chapter on the way...) Also a big thanks to everyone following the story! It keeps me motivated! Another chapter by tomorrow night hopefully!_

_Stella-Siha: It's my most random playlist that I'm getting my song titles from. So there's classical, rock and roll, pop, country, even show tunes as well. I'm not necessarily writing the chapters to reflect the songs themselves just the titles. I try my best to put them into the chapter but there's just a tiny bit of cheating when my playlist pops up something like "Piano Sonata No. 15" because it's like, "How the crap do I fit that in?" So yeah, that's my story and I'm sticking to it!_

_Take a holo, it'll last longer!_


	11. Feeling Good

**Feeling Good**

Joker knew those footsteps coming up behind him without even looking around. "You're up and about Commander! How're you feeling?"

"I'm feeling good Joker, still a little stiff but nothing a good fire fight won't fix," Shepard replied, leaning against his chair.

"Yeah or maybe just a few laps around the CIC," Joker supplied as he turned to look at her. "Does everything have to be full speed ahead all the time with you?"

Shepard laughed, "Only after I've been locked in my own room for weeks on end."

"You were only there for a few days Shepard, not weeks," Joker argued.

"Could've fooled me," she mumbled to herself.

"Hey did you paint a picture of me on the Normandy model I got you?"

"Yes I did," Shepard replied starting to chuckle. "In fact I made a tiny little stick figure of you holding onto a string and attached the string to the back of the Normandy. I painted a picture of myself in the cockpit!"

Joker burst out laughing, "With you piloting the Normandy, I would be holding on for dear life!"

The two continued to laugh for quite a while, easing back into their usual conversations and inside jokes.

_A/N: Short installment I know, but it'll make more sense for the next chapter. I got extremely lucky with my playlist with the song that came up, I almost skipped it to make it harder but I was like, 'might as well use it.'_

_Jules Hawk: I almost used Tali instead of Garrus, but I thought Garrus would be funnier as the awkward alien who didn't know how to deal with a hungry Shepard! :) Glad it made you laugh!  
Celestia's Paladin: Lol! Yes! The Normandy with racing stripes or shark teeth and a dorsal fin! Love it! And yes, Shepard is clueless, she's great at tactical situations but horrible with men, more on that later though..._

_Have fun storming the castle!_


	12. A Sentimental Man

**A Sentimental Man**

Garrus paused on his way to deliver a weapons report to Shepard. She was in the cockpit with Joker and the two were laughing and sharing plenty of jokes back and forth. He stopped to admire the pair for a few minutes before turning around to let them be.

He was glad that the two were back to their old selves again. Garrus had seen his fair share of fellow officers back on the Citadel who ruined various friendships and relationships by getting together too early.

Usually he wouldn't care about the social fate of humans, but these two had managed to slink past his fence and camp out right in his front lawn. Joker was one of the first humans he met who had made him laugh. Really laugh! The kind of laughs that rumbled all the way down to his stomach.

And Shepard… Shepard had started calling him a friend. He had never had a human call him that before. Now that he thought of it though, no one in a long time, human or otherwise, had called him a friend. He liked it.

While he wasn't what he'd consider a "sentimental" man, he was damn loyal to the people he considered friends, and Shepard and Joker did not deserve to lose each other just because they couldn't recognize their own emotions.

He thought Joker might be starting to recognize his own feelings, but Garrus knew enough from observing people that he wasn't ready to face them yet.

And Garrus protected his friends, no matter what. Garrus's weapons report could wait. His friend had better things to do.

_A/N: As promised, a Garrus chapter! Hopefully this makes a couple things make more sense in terms of what I'm doing with Joker and Shepard's relationship. And finally! A show tune as a chapter title; it made me giggle!_

_Celestia's Paladin: I might borrow that idea in a future chapter... Can I please?  
Stella-Siha: Garrus would make an awesome bro. Or a wingman! Sometimes I just want to go to a bar with all of the mass effect people and see what they'd do, mainly because I think a drunk Mordin would be awesome!  
CyanB: Welcome to my humble abode of stories, sugar, and song titles! We hope you enjoy your stay and please don't feed the krogan. Thank you!_

_On a really random side note: After the song for this chapter came up, I let my playlist keep playing and this is the song that came next. (go to YouTube and type in this after the website address __ watch?v=Q0YrY8fjDkU ) _Totally made me laugh and sent me back to the 90's!


	13. You Can Call Me Al

**You Can Call Me Al**

"Another creepy monster-type alien, how many can the galaxy hold?" Joker asked as the team came through the airlock.

"You can add Thorian to list of things I never want to see again," Shepard replied while taking off her helmet. She shook out her hair and stood behind Joker and his chair.

"Are you kidding?" Kaidan said, removing his own helmet as well. "The Commander showed that thing who's boss! If we come across another one I only hope my aim is as good as hers!" As he spoke he had flung his arm around her shoulders.

She immediately felt a weird sensation in her stomach. "Alenko, what're you doing?"

"Alenko? You're still calling me Alenko? You can call me Al, or maybe just Kaidan," he said with a smile to Shepard. "We've gotten to know each other pretty well by now."

Now Shepard could place the feeling in her stomach: discomfort. It felt just plain odd to have someone this close and familiar with her. Not that Alenko and Shepard didn't get along, but she had no desire to extend their relationship beyond that of friendly comrades.

"Alenko, did you get hit in the head on the mission?" Shepard asked, stepping away from his arm as she did so.

Joker didn't like it. Even though Shepard had stepped away from Kaidan and was clearly not interested, he still didn't like it one bit.

"Yeah Kaidan," Joker said with a teasing voice. "You sure you didn't bump into anything? Because your head looks a little swollen."

Out of the corner of his eye, Joker could see Shepard cross her arms and press her fist to her mouth. He knew that pose. That was the pose she struck when trying not to smile through a serious situation.

"Seriously Kaidan, your skin is a little pale, your eyes look a little glassy, not to mention your awesome helmet hair from the mission," Joker continued. He wasn't sure why he was teasing Kaidan so much, but it felt good.

Kaidan looked like he was trying not to punch something.

"Alright that's enough Joker," Shepard stepped in finally. "Alenko, why don't you head down to the mess with the rest of the crew. I'll find you after you get some food and we'll talk."

Kaidan clearly wanted to argue, but after a few minutes merely saluted the Commander with a cold look in his eyes and walked towards the staircase.

Shepard waited until Kaidan was out of sight then rounded on Joker. "What was all that about? Why were you making fun of him so bad?"

"What?" Joker exclaimed. "You thought it was funny too, don't think I don't know when you're trying not to laugh." He attempted to turn back around to face his console but Shepard's hand whipped out to turn him back to facing her.

"That doesn't answer my question," she scolded, then adopted the intimidating "mom stare" with her hands on her hips. "Why did you do it?"

"He was making you uncomfortable," he answered staring right back at her. "I saw you step away and I thought I'd help you get rid of him."

Shepard froze for a few second, apparently taken aback by what he had said. "That's not the point," she finally managed to say, her voice a little higher than normal.

"Enlighten me."

"The point is you didn't have to go on teasing him. You could've just said something like, 'Hey lay off the Commander's personal space' or I don't know, something like that."

"But where's the fun in that?" Joker chuckled.

"Joker!" Shepard admonished him. "While you and I may not always abide by the rules of rank on this ship, everyone else does. When it's just you and I alone, you can make all the jokes you want, but not in front of the other members of the crew. There's a level of respect and professionalism that has to remain, understand?"

Joker looked at her with empty eyes. "Aye-aye, ma'am," he replied turning his chair back around.

Shepard placed a hand on his shoulder. "You know I hate pulling rank on you and I'm sorry. I have a request for you, not an order. You don't have to do it if you don't want to but I'd like you to nonetheless."

She waited for a response but Joker refused to give her one.

She sighed, "Go and apologize to Kaidan."

Shepard started to walk away before adding, "Please."

The Commander walked down the hall and Joker couldn't help turning his head to watch her go. When she disappeared from sight he faced his console once more.

"You still laughed."

_A/N: This was a fun chapter to right. I have zero problem with Kaidan, I really don't, but since he's the only male to romance in the first game he gets to be the 'jealousy instigator' for this chapter._

_Celestia's Paladin: Thanks for the permission! I think... :) Yes these two are clueless, one's a great pilot but horrible with women, the other's a great commander but horrible with men. A match if ever there was one!  
CyanB: My chapters have no rhyme or reason to how long they are. I usually have an idea to where I want a chapter to go and write for how ever long it takes for me to get my point across. However you can definitely expect longer chapters as we get into the ME2 and ME3 parts of the story, which shouldn't be too much longer if my head stays this organized..._

_Thanks to everyone who continues to read this story! It makes me smile! Anybody want a peanut?_


	14. This Is Gonna Be Good

**This Is Gonna Be Good**

Joker made his way through the mess to get his dinner tray. He was still a little cranky from yesterday's argument with Shepard and hadn't talked to her since. He got his tray and turned around to look for a spot to sit.

Dinner was almost over so there weren't many people left eating. He could see Garrus and Tali eating their dextro-based food and chatting good-naturedly with each other. A few of the engineers were laughing heartily at old stories they were telling in turns. And at the end of one table was Kaidan, finishing up the last of his stew.

Joker had a momentary inner battle with himself on whether or not he should apologize to him. With a sigh, however he made his way over to Kaidan and sat across from him.

"Joker," Kaidan acknowledged with a nod.

Joker started fiddling with his spoon and took a deep breath. "I'd like to apologize."

Kaidan let out a snort, "This is gonna be good."

"No seriously, I was out of line and I shouldn't have said those things to you," Joker supplied. "I'm sorry man."

Kaidan took a drink from his glass while contemplating Joker's words. He exhaled, "It's alright Joker, apology accepted. Men have been known to get a little crazy when there's a woman involved."

"What do you mean?"

"Shepard; you were angry I approached her and overreacted a bit."

"I… no… I wasn't angry because of the Commander!" Joker argued.

"Are you saying you would've insulted me if I had just walked in and stood there instead?" Kaidan asked with a knowing smirk.

Joker froze with his spoon halfway to his mouth, staring out into space and thinking really hard.

"Joker?" Kaidan prodded.

"No!" Joker snapped back to reality. "I mean yes. Yes I would've bothered you just for standing there. I mean with that hairstyle Kaidan? Come on, who wouldn't?"

Kaidan looked like he was about to say something else to Joker, but merely shook his head and gathered his tray.

"Alright Joker," he said, holding out his hand to the pilot.

Joker shook it and Kaidan stood up and said, "May the best man win!"

"Win what?" Joker asked, but Kaidan continued to walk away.

"May the best man win what?" he shouted to Kaidan's retreating back.

_A/N: There will be a small amount of fluff in the next chapter for those who are getting antsy. Also Joker finally gets a clue too... Pinky swears! Again, I can't believe all the nice things you guys are saying about my story, it really keeps me motivated to keep going! Passing you all chocolate through the internet! (As requested by Jules Hawk!) :)_

_Good night. Good work. Sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning._


	15. Life is a Highway

**Life is a Highway**

Gone, Ashley was gone. Joker still couldn't quite believe it as he stared at the Normandy's helm without really seeing it.

It was the middle of the night and when Joker couldn't fall asleep he thought working in the cockpit would tire him out. Apparently he was wrong; if anything it just turned his brain into hyperdrive.

"Joker?" he jumped at the sudden voice in his earpiece.

"Yes Garrus, what do you need?"

"Have you seen Shepard?" Garrus asked the pilot.

"No I haven't. She's sleeping though right? Maybe you could talk to her in the morning?" Joker supplied.

"She's not in her quarters," Garrus answered.

Joker raised an eyebrow, "You went into the Commander's quarters Garrus?"

"Don't be ridiculous, I waited outside her door after dinner to catch her before she went to bed. I wanted to see how she was doing. It's been three days and I don't think she's said more than two words at a time to anyone. When she didn't show up I assumed she went to talk to you in the cockpit."

"No she's not here Garrus. I'll find her though, you go ahead and get some sleep," Joker offered.

"Thanks Joker."

With a sigh Joker stood and gathered his crutches trying to think of where she would've gone. Back in their school days when she was stressed out, Shepard would break into the main cafeteria to be alone. He remembered her story of how security almost caught her, but it never stopped her from going back.

He made his way down to the mess on the ship but knew immediately she wasn't there. _"Think Joker, think!"_ his brain encouraged. It wasn't the tables that calmed her, he didn't think. The cafeteria was big though, high ceilings and lots of room.

Hoping he was right, Joker made his way down to engineering and took a look around. He was about to give up when a thought occurred to him. He made his way over to the Mako and looked inside.

"Aha! I found you! Although next time you tell me to count to a thousand while you go hide I'll just attach a homing beacon to you instead," Joker teased; secretly breathing a sigh of relief as he did so.

"Somehow I knew you'd be the one to find me," she responded. He could see the large bags under her eyes.

"Come on Shepard you need to get some sleep," Joker offered his hand out to her.

With a defeated look, she took it and climbed out of the Mako.

They didn't speak all the way to her quarters, and when they entered, Shepard merely sat on the edge of her bed and stared into space. She didn't move a muscle.

"Hey," Joker prompted with a soft voice and sat down next to her. "Talk to me Jane. Tell me what you're thinking."

"Does it make a difference?"

"Does what?"

"What we're doing here," she answered, bringing her eyes to his. "I feel like we're just starting something big; something bigger than just Saren." Shepard paused for a moment, still looking into Joker's eyes. Suddenly her expression changed. It took a moment before Joker could place the emotion in it, but eventually it occurred to him. Shepard was worried and, was it possible, that she was a little scared too?

Before he could say anything, she continued, "I've lost people before, even seen a few die in front of me on Akuze. But this… this felt different. Like Ashley was only the first, and it's only going to get worse from here." Jane took a breath. "And it's all my fault!" She looked away from Joker and crossed her arms in front of her as if trying to shield herself from her own thoughts.

"Hey, Jane, look at me," Joker said, gently placing a hand on her cheek and turning her face towards his. "You made a choice, a difficult choice, but it's not your fault that the choice had to be made." He placed both his hands on her shoulders and looked directly into her eyes.

"My father used to tell me that life is a highway," he resumed. "He said that sometimes the road is smooth, sometimes it's bumpy. And there are also times the road splits into two paths. You can't turn around, because what would that accomplish? You have to choose which path you want to take knowing that neither is going to be much better than the other one. The point is you have to keep going, you have to keep driving." Joker gave her shoulders a tiny squeeze and felt the tiniest bit of tension release from them.

"You can't break down on us now Jane," he finished softly, hoping he hadn't gone too far.

She stared into his eyes for a few minutes, thinking about what he said. Then she simply nodded and said, "You're right Joker." She leaned her head into his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his middle. Joker instinctively hugged her back.

He couldn't remember the last she hugged him, but it felt good. Really good. He could smell the faint smell of her shampoo in her hair. It was nice.

"Thank you Jeff," she sighed into his shoulder.

"No problem Jane," he replied.

Joker closed his eyes, breathing in her scent and continued to hold her. After a while, he noticed her breathing had become deeper and more even.

_"Did she really just fall asleep in my arms?"_ he asked himself.

Not wanting to wake her, Joker carefully positioned her head on her pillows and covered her with a blanket. He brushed a few strands of hair out of her face and behind her ear then stood up. He watched her sleep for a minute or two and thought to himself.

She endured so much, and put up with so much shit, including his own he mentally added; but still she rose up to the challenges that the galaxy kept chucking her way. And he cared so much about her and would stand behind her for however long it took to get through this. He had to.

Joker placed a kiss on her forehead and started to leave but something caught his eye. He walked over to a table that had a framed photo on it and picked up the picture. It was the one they had taken the day he graduated. She had snuck in a kiss on his cheek and it had made his ears turn red and his stomach do a funny flip that day. Now that he thought about it, his stomach was doing that same funny flip now. He always cared for her, from the day they met at orientation, but now…

Joker looked at Shepard sleeping, then back to the photo in his hands. He set it down and walked out of her quarters.

_"Shit,"_ he thought to himself. _"I love her."_

_A/N: And the truth shall set you free! This chapter was by far the hardest I had to write so far. Many revisions were made to it (oh the revisions...) but I think I got it to where I like it. Just a heads up, the next two days are moving days for me! I'll try my darndest to get at least one chapter in through all the hustle and bustle but no promises. I'm not even sure if I'll have internet by then..._

_To all my reviewers: I love you guys... If we could take a picture together, I would hang it on my corkboard. And let's face it, it'd probably one of all of us locked in a food fight with how much food I've been handing out through the internet..._

_But it is very late, and I must sleep and you should too. So for now, rest well and dream of large women._


	16. I'm Your Man

**I'm Your Man**

Shepard woke up with a start when her alarm buzzed angrily. She whacked it and groaned into her pillow. She couldn't understand why the Alliance could have at least made a more pleasant alarm sound. Silently cursing whoever had invented the concept of alarm clocks, she rolled out of bed.

Shepard got dressed, grabbed two cups of coffee from the Mess, and headed to the cockpit.

"Hey," she greeted.

"Hey yourself! Double-fisting it, I see!" Joker teased.

"One's for you, asshole," she replied with an affectionate tone. "It's a thanks, for helping me calm down last night."

"I'm your man, Commander, anytime!" Joker said, accepting his coffee.

Shepard took a look at Joker. He seemed different today. At first she couldn't place what had changed and then it clicked. Was he smiling? Joker never smiled. At least that wasn't his permanent state of being. He'd smile or laugh at a joke, but just sitting there smiling like an idiot for no reason at all? That wasn't Joker.

"Are you sure you even need that coffee? You look like you have enough energy already Joker, and it's still only the morning."

"What can I say?" he deflected with shrug. "I have a good feeling about today."

"A good feeling? What happened to shit happens and you just have to deal with it?" Shepard asked skeptically.

"Well I also know that karma's a bitch, and with all the bad shit that's been happening to us, and to you, we're bound to be cashing in something pretty damn awesome!" Joker surmised.

"Well," she said, clinking her glass with Joker's. "Here's hoping! Take us to the Citadel Joker, the Counsel might just agree with you."

"Aye-aye Commander!"

_A/N: Here's hoping you guys are still liking it. Didn't get too many comments on my last chapter... Anyway, Joker's love isn't like a burning, passionate love, it's more of the deep, friendly love; it was just the epiphany of that moment that I wanted to illustrate. Make sense? More to come, a few major events might be skipped/glossed over, mainly because people made different choices in their own games. Hope everyone's weekend was good!_


	17. Call Me Irresponsible

**Call Me Irresponsible**

One should just get used to disappointment and failure. That's all life ever is. Joker stared at the bottom of his empty glass, lost in continuous thoughts. Everything had happened so fast. He thought he had more time; thought he could wait until everything was finished and talk to her then.

But the Normandy had been commandeered, then Ilos, the battle at the Citadel, the Counsel realizing what idiots they were, and then… Forever that day will be burned into Joker's memory.

He wanted to save the Normandy, he had to. It was the only place he ever felt truly at home. The only place he had spent so much time with her on a continuous basis. If he could save the Normandy, then she would stay. And now he didn't have either. Six months had passed but he could still smell the smoke from the fires in the cockpit and feel her hand on his arm.

Joker gripped his glass until his knuckles turned white. It was stupid. He was stupid. It was entirely his fault she was gone.

With a snarl, he pushed away from the bar and grabbed his crutches.

"Hey, Moreau!" he heard the bartender call. The burly man caught up with Joker and put his hand on his shoulder.

"I can't let you walk home by yourself man, you've had too much tonight."

"Call me irresponsible, but I don't need a babysitter!" Joker tried unsuccessfully to pull his shoulder away and instead managed to stumble over a chair.

_"Who would put a chair there, honestly?"_ Joker angrily thought to himself.

"As convincing as that argument was, I'm still sending someone home with you."

Joker gave an exasperated sigh, "Whatever."

The bartender started to look around for a friendly face, but a dark-haired woman had already walked up to them.

"I'll walk him home."

Joker took a skeptical look at the woman. He had seen her earlier that night. She was extremely pretty, almost perfectly so and had been occupying a booth in the corner. She held herself in a confident way, the kind of confidence that came with good skills and good looks. Shepard was never like that. She was attractive, yes, as well as confident, but not like this girl. Shepard was laid-back, this girl was… a cheerleader; an in-your-face, look at me and my bad self, pretty girl.

At first, Joker could have sworn she was watching him; but then he figured she was probably staring at the poor crippled guy who just walked in. The feeling it gave him was what made him drink so much this night.

"Great," he muttered to himself. "Getting babysat by the cheerleader."

"Believe me Mr. Moreau, you will not regret me as your escort tonight," she advised.

They had made their way out of the bar by now and were walking down the lane.

"Look, I don't mean to be rude, Miss Sassy-pants, but I don't want any company tonight. You can walk me home but you can be damn sure I'll be entering it alone," Joker informed the girl.

"And I don't mean to be rude either Mr. Moreau, but I would never join a man at his home if he had drank as much as you drank tonight," she countered. "I'm actually here to discuss something with you of great importance. I had hoped you wouldn't be this inebriated, but we're on a tight schedule."

"Whatever it is, the answer is no!" Joker replied. He didn't want to go back to work in any capacity. He was perfectly fine spending his time either getting drunk or recovering from a hangover. It was simple, achievable, and damn hard to screw up.

"Oh I think you'll want to hear what I have to say," the woman said with confidence.

They had reached Joker's door now. He didn't live far away from the bar, which is exactly why he picked the place. He stared at the woman. She intrigued him just enough that he'd listen to what she had to say, but odds are he wouldn't care, or even remember it by next morning.

"Alright, what?" he finally conceded.

"My name is Miranda Lawson. We have a mutual friend," she started pulling something out of a bag she was carrying. "Pack your things and meet me tomorrow at noon at loading dock C47 and we'll discuss our friend and your options further."

Miranda handed Joker something flat and slightly heavy and walked away.

Joker turned over what she had handed him and nearly dropped it. It was the photo of him and Shepard. It was _the_ photo; the one from her room. The glass was now cracked diagonally across the picture and one side of the metal frame had melted slightly, but Joker was damn certain it was the same one he had seen in her room that night he realized how he felt.

Joker looked up to shout at the woman to come back, but she had gone.

* * *

Hot damn his legs hurt! Joker tried to roll over in an attempt ease the pain but only succeeded in making it worse.

It had been four months since Miranda had walked him home from the bar and Joker's life, or at least his headache, had improved exponentially. She had taken him to a space station all the while explaining how they had acquired the body of Shepard and begun rehabilitating her.

Joker immediately requested to see her. Miranda refused, saying at the stage they were at, no one was allowed to see her unless directly related to the project.

"In the meantime," she continued. "We have something for you Mr. Moreau."

Joker didn't remember much of the techno babble at the time. The only thing that registered was that when everything was finished, he'd be able to walk under his own power, no crutches needed.

At this precise moment though, Joker had a hard time remembering that he'd be able to walk by the end of it. The doctors told him that this surgery was the last surgery, and would also be the most painful recovery. The pain in his legs was by far the worst he had ever experienced. At least things could only go up from here.

Joker rolled over onto his other side and faced his bedside table. He had placed the picture of him and Shepard on it and stared at it.

He was doing this for Shepard, he told himself. She would need a friendly face and a familiar one at that, if she had any hope of adjusting to her new chance at life.

The pain was worth it. She was worth it.

_A/N: So when I said some would get skipped I guess I meant all! When my playlist came up with this song I knew I had to jump ahead! I figured with all the intense battles and such their relationship wouldn't have gone that far anyway, plus this is where it gets fun! (or at least I like to think so...) You may also notice that this chapter is kinda a two-in-one was well. I figured I'd start combining a few together so more things happen when you guys read them. However that means a bit more of a waiting period between updates... sorry guys!_

_My reviewers are awesome! Just saying..._

_What should I pass you through the internet tonight? Some pies? Sounds good! Passing out pies through the internet to all of you! You can pick your own flavor! ;-)_


	18. You Can Always Count On Me

**You Can Always Count On Me**

Part of Joker still wasn't sure if it was really Shepard. Miranda had finally allowed him to see her, granted it was through a sound-proof glass window, but still he was glad.

There were two other people in the lab with Shepard, Miranda and some guy Joker learned was called Wilson. He couldn't hear what they were saying but it looked as if they were simply checking her vital signs, discussing future procedures, and making sure she was progressing on schedule.

Joker was completely healed from his surgeries and was thoroughly enjoying his new freedom. He still had a significant limp and was also slower than most people, but he could walk. He'd been at the station just over a year now and made a point to walk down to Shepard's window at least once a day.

She was starting to look more like herself these days too. When he was first allowed to see her, Shepard had been practically bald and most of her skin was eerily pale. Now, however, her hair was back to its original length and color, as well as her skin.

Joker wished she was awake. He just wanted to hear her voice again really and talk about old times, but that shouldn't stop him from talking, right? The pilot took a quick look down the hall to see if anyone was nearby. Seeing that he was alone, Joker began to talk.

"Today was fun, they gave me all sorts of drills to test my piloting skills, and I passed every single one of them. It felt good to be flying again. I finished earlier than they expected so they let me walk around the new ship they're building. It looks a lot like the Normandy except it's practically twice as large."

Joker paused thinking about the ship. They had asked all sorts of questions during the building process. What were things he liked or disliked about various ships he'd served on? How comfortable did he want his seat to be? At first he thought that was an odd question. Did it matter? Then Joker thought about how often he slept in his chair and decided to go with leather seats. It wasn't a feather mattress or anything like that, but it was definitely going to be an improvement over what he had before.

"They started asking me questions about what to put in the loft for you, Jane. That, by the way, is your new quarters. You get your very own floor right above the CIC. Cool huh? Anyway I told them to make a spot for the model ships you're always collecting and to make sure your desk chair was adjustable. I remember how much you complained about the one you had back at school.

"It's going to be pretty kick ass Jane! Just wait until you see it, it'll-"

All of the sudden Shepard started moving. Not much, but from his vantage point it looked to Joker like she had opened her eyes too.

_"No way!"_ he thought to himself.

Shepard lifted her hand, but Miranda gently pushed back down then turned to Wilson. She seemed angry and ordered Wilson to do something. Joker saw Shepard's eyes flicker shut, and her breathing turned steady once again.

Without realizing he had done so, Joker nearly pressed himself flat to the glass in an attempt to get closer to her. Miranda caught sight of him and made her way out of the lab.

"What happened?" he asked the woman.

"We're not sure. My guess is Wilson messed up his calculations again. Shepard's body is recovering faster than we anticipated but Wilson should be able to factor that in by now," Miranda finished.

"Still," she hesitated. "That doesn't explain why she would regain consciousness like that."

"Um," Joker started. "I'm not really a medical expert so I really have no clue, but is she okay? That didn't mess anything up did it?"

"No Mr. Moreau, she'll be fine. As long as Wilson does his part, and Shepard keeps progressing at the pace she does, she'll be better than fine."

"You know you can call me Joker, everyone does," he told her.

"I've never been comfortable with nicknames I'm afraid," Miranda replied. "Never really had anyone close enough for one anyway."

"Trust me," Joker responded. "Once Shepard wakes up, you'll have a friend, a good one too. She has a way of getting people on her side, that's how she got me after all!"

"We'll see, Mr. Moreau, we still have a few months before Shepard is even close to regaining consciousness for real."

"Alright Miss Sassy-pants, but don't say I didn't warn you," Joker said with smile. He tipped his hat to Miranda then walked back down the hall.

* * *

"Already?" Joker asked.

"Yes," Illusive Man replied. "There was an incident at the station that caused Miss Lawson to wake her up early, but she's doing fine and has already hit the ground running."

"That sounds like her."

"Indeed," Illusive Man agreed. "Oh and we've moved the ship you were helping us work on to the station you're at now, and I have some good news. It's ready."

Joker was ecstatic. All that work and now he'll finally get to fly again, with Shepard at his side too.

"She'll be back this way tomorrow and you'll be able to talk to her then, in the meantime I suggest you get some rest. At the rate Shepard is moving, I doubt you'll have much time for rest once she starts assembling her team."

"Yes sir."

* * *

Joker made his way down the stairs. Miranda said Shepard should be done with the Illusive Man's call by now. Just as he reached the bottom, she turned around.

"Joker!" Shepard immediately ran up and threw her arms around him in a bear hug.

"Just like old times," he replied with a grin and returned her hug. "You can always count on me Shepard, you ought to know this by now."

It was her; definitely her. No one else could have that much energy and that kind of light behind her smile. She even smelled the same, he noticed, as she practically lifted him up in the eagerness of her hug.

"I can't believe it's you!" she exclaimed pulling away and looking at him. "You're here! You're walking! When did this happen?"

Joker explained the surgeries and his involvement in Cerberus as they walked through the corridors.

"And there's this. They only told me last night," Joker finished gesturing out the window they were walking up to.

He watched Shepard's face light up as she looked out onto the new ship.

"It's good to be home, huh, Commander?"

She turned to beam at him. "I guess we'll have to give her a name," she replied with a knowing smirk.

"You don't think it's too cheesy? Naming her after the old one?"

"Hey, they rebuilt one of your best friends already," Shepard said with a wink. "Why not make it two?"

"Alright, the Normandy she is then!" Joker agreed.

_"Running around, recruiting the weirdest people, fighting against impossible odds? Yeah,"_ Joker thought to himself throwing his arm around Shepard's shoulders. _"This is exactly where I want to be."_

_A/N: Ta-da! Three chapters in one! It's like you all had coupons... So I thought it would be cool/cheesy if the reason Shepard woke up that one time that happens in the game because Joker was outside. Like she sensed his presence or something. Also Joker says in the game "they only told me last night" and I assume he meant they told him they built the new Normandy. I like to say they told him it was finished because I feel like they'd want to involve him in the building process since he knew the old Normandy so well, right? Because let's face it, "they only told me last night" could refer to anything really; they told him it was built, told him it was finished, told him they washed his hat by accident. You could really interpret it any way you want!_

_Thanks so much for everyone still reading this story! I love you all! And I really do want world peace!_


	19. Only Hope

**Only Hope**

Jane wandered around her new quarters. It was so big. Did she really need all this space? And a fish tank; who has time to feed fish? She wandered around the room taking in her bed, couch, and working area. She looked above her desk and could see places for model ships. How did they know that? Before Shepard could really think about it, she heard a knock at the door.

She walked over and opened it and saw Joker standing there holding a box. Smiling, Shepard said, "You do know there's an intercom you're supposed to use if you want to come in. Or you can tell EDI."

"Ugh, don't get me started on that thing! I can't believe they thought it would improve the ship; I don't need a damned AI! The last Normandy did fine without one."

"I'm sure you guys will be fine," Shepard consoled. "Hey, why don't you try looking at it as a challenge? Since you're the best pilot in the whole galaxy, flying a ship should be a piece of cake, but flying a ship with an AI aboard, that's something only the great Flight Lieutenant Jeff Moreau could handle!"

Joker chuckled, "That's just cheesy enough it might convince me, if only a little bit. Speaking of cake," he opened the box he was carrying and set it on her desk. "I brought something to help us break in the new Normandy!"

"A cheesecake! You remembered!"

"Of course I remembered!"

It had become an unofficial tradition of theirs to split an entire cheesecake whenever new things or important life moments happened. It started their freshman year after their first day of classes when Shepard received a cheesecake delivered to her room by accident.

"The note says 'Love, Mom and Dad.' Must be a mistake, we should-"

But when Shepard turned around to tell Joker they should send it back, she saw that he was already into his third bite with his fork halfway to his mouth.

"Are you going join me or what?" he merely questioned, holding out a fork for her. Not a semblance of guilt on his face.

"It's not even mine! You're impossible. Not to mention a pig," she shrugged and decided to join him.

"What?" he exclaimed through a mouthful of cake. "I am the epitome of class and manners."

Shepard giggled.

"How do you know your own parents didn't send it?" he asked.

She paused to think for a second then decided to tell him. "My parents are dead," she simply responded.

"Oh, okay… well, um," Joker fumbled, not knowing to say. "That sucks."

They were uncomfortably silent for a few seconds.

"You can ask me you know, I don't mind," Shepard offered.

"What happened to them?" he inquired, following her lead.

"I was part of the colony on Mindoir that was attacked by slavers. I was in school at the time they attacked. I managed to escape and made my way home without being caught somehow. When I got there, they were already dead. It looked like they tried to fight back so the slavers must have killed them to simplify things. I gathered some of my things and found a group of survivors and joined them. We managed to survive and an Alliance ship came by a few days later and picked us up."

Joker paused in his eating and thought about her story. "You didn't cry or anything when you saw them? You just picked up your stuff and ran?"

"At the time, the emotions just didn't click. The only thing going through my mind was 'survive.' My parents had died and I knew they would want me to keep going so I did. Trust me, after we got aboard the Alliance ship when my adrenaline ran out and I got a warm meal and a bed, I cried for a good couple of hours.

"When I told that story to the Alliance officers, they were impressed with my 'ability to harness and control emotions on the battlefield' so they put me into their Alliance Prep School program for the two years I had left of school and now here I am."

"Wow," Joker said, not being able to think of anything else to say.

"Alright now it's your turn," Shepard declared. "What's your story? How'd you end up here?"

"Well, it's not as much as a feel good story as yours was, but basically it's because of my legs."

"Your legs? Did the Alliance say they were going to fix them or something?" Shepard asked.

"No actually just the opposite," Joker answered. "But my point was that it's because of my legs that I wanted to be a pilot. See, I have a little sister, Hilary, and when we were kids she would ask me all sorts of questions about my bones. One day, after a particularly painful surgery, she asked how I was doing and said something like 'I feel like I'll never walk again' to which she replied with, 'Well you'll just have to fly instead then.' She was only five at the time but for whatever reason the idea stuck with me. From then on the only thing I wanted to be when I grew up was a pilot," he finished his story, along with the last bite of cheesecake.

The two had continued talking for a while after the cheesecake was gone,sharing more stories of growing up and family, but after that day they always made a point to get one for special occasions.

Shepard was glad Joker had brought one now. She needed something familiar.

"How do you like your model ship area?" Joker questioned as he sat on the edge of her desk and pulled out two forks.

"Did you tell them to do that? I didn't think that kind of information was on my file," Shepard replied and took a fork from him.

She sat down in her desk chair to join in eating but was immediately distracted by the chair itself. It took a few minutes, but she finally got the chair set how she wanted it to be. Shepard was glad that the chair was at least adjustable; she hated trying to work while her back was uncomfortable.

Shepard looked up and saw that Joker was looking at her with a funny grin on his face.

"Don't you dare laugh at me Fly-boy, you're just as picky with your own chair in the cockpit," she declared.

"I wasn't laughing!" Joker stated. "I would never laugh at the great Commander Shepard."

Shepard sighed at this remark, "I'm not sure I am the great Commander Shepard anymore."

"What are you talking about Jane? Of course you are! How else would you remember that I was supposed to bring you cheesecake, hm?"

"It's not that, it's just…" she wasn't sure how to explain it. "I have all my memories but it's like I'm still missing pieces. Like remember when I had all that shrapnel in my back? It made the skin on my back look like it had freckles that mutinied or something from all of the scars. But now it's smooth, like it never happened. I remember getting injuries and the scars that came afterwards, but now they're not there anymore.

"I know there's more to a person than what scars they have, but I just feel… I don't know… not myself anymore," Shepard finished dully.

"Hey," Joker said, reaching for one of her hands. "You are most definitely yourself, trust me, I would know the difference between you and a fake Shepard in a heartbeat."

She still wasn't entirely convinced and it must have shown on her face because then Joker continued, "Tell you what, anytime you have doubts about this, come up and see me and I'll prove to you that you are most definitely you. You're our only hope against the Collectors, that's why they brought you back."

He gave her hand a small squeeze and reassured her, "We need you. And I do too." Joker released her hand and began cleaning up, the cheesecake being completely gone by now.

Shepard was surprised at his last statement. "You need me?"

"Of course," Joker said making his way to the couch down the stairs now. "No one else laughs at my jokes or watches awesome cop shows with me! You in the mood for a couple of episodes tonight?"

Shepard smiled and plopped down next to him. "You bet!" she replied and felt a small bit the tension she had been holding in her shoulders vanish.

* * *

_A/N: And now you're all craving cheesecake... Muahahaha! So, flashback time! I was even contemplating doing a flashback within a flashback and do the entire story of Shepard on Mindoir but figured that would take too long. I might do it as it's own separate little one-shot though later on. Trying to power write as best as I can these next few days! Hopefully work will be nice to me and not be as hectic as it was this week._

_I love everyone who is still reading, reviewing, and keeping up with this story! You're the cheese to my cake! ;-)_


	20. Dance

**Dance**

Throughout the next couple of weeks they jumped around the galaxy and picked up various new team members. The last one they picked up was called Archangel on the dossiers list, but turned out to be good old Garrus.

Joker was definitely pleased about that last one. Shepard needed as many familiar faces as she could get.

"Looks like Garrus worked that stick out of his butt, but now he's trying to beat people to death with it," Joker teased when she came into the cockpit that night.

"Hey!" Shepard scolded and settled into the copilot's chair. "He's been through a lot. Plus everyone deserves a little vendetta at least once in their lives."

"Alright, I suppose, just let me know if he tries to beat you with it, because you know I could take him out for you."

Shepard let out a belly laugh at this statement. "Not that I doubt your conviction or motivations but I'm not sure that would be a good idea."

"I wasn't talking about a fist fight or anything; are you kidding me? I'm saying I could just disengage the internal gravity in the battery and make him bump his head on the ceiling a few times," Joker retorted.

At that statement Shepard laughed so hard she snorted. Joker loved that sound. It'd been a while since he had heard it too.

"Oh that would be a sight to see," Shepard agreed when she finally came up for air. "So, how many episodes do you want to watch tonight?"

"I thought we already got through them all?" Joker countered.

"Well what else are we supposed to watch? I don't have anything else downloaded because we left the Citadel so fast I didn't have time," Shepard sighed.

EDI's blue orb popped up on the other side of the cockpit and she supplied, "I believe Dr. Solus has a number of educational videos downloaded ranging from microbiology, various planets' ecosystems, and cross-species mating scenarios."

Both Shepard and Joker looked at each other with shocked silence at the last genre.

"Thank you EDI," Shepard finally managed to say. "I think we'll pass though."

"Very well," EDI replied. "Logging you out Shepard."

"That's what you get for bringing a mad scientist onboard," Joker ribbed.

Shepard merely rolled her eyes in response. After a few seconds though, she jumped out of her seat. "I have an idea," she announced. "Teach me to fly."

"Seriously?" Joker turned to face her with an eyebrow raised. "Shepard you know how to fly, every Alliance officer has basic flight skills as part of their training. I know because I had to help with the freshman class a few times."

"You know what I mean. Teach me to fly with more than the basic skills," she stood up and adopted her "mom stare" in order to emphasize her point. "I want to be able to do more than just fly from Point A to Point B and take off and land. Please Joker? I'll repay you with a lesson of your own even. Anything you want!"

Joker thought about this for a minute. "Teach me to shoot," he finally answered.

"You didn't get basic training in that?" Shepard asked.

"No, at the time they didn't think my bones were strong enough to handle it so I was exempt from it. But now I think I could do it," Joker concluded.

"Alright, you're on Fly-boy!" Shepard agreed and extended her hand to shake his. He accepted and stood up.

"Sit," Joker gestured to his chair.

"What?" Shepard asked.

"Did you expect to learn through telepathy or something? Have a seat," he gestured to the chair once more.

"I was expecting in the shuttle. The Normandy's your baby, I wouldn't want to-"

Her sentence was cut off midway by Joker grabbing her shoulders and gently pushing her down to sit in the chair.

"Ok," was all she said.

Joker smiled to himself, it was odd but a little empowering to see the Commander out of sorts.

"So you know the basic controls, right? Thrusters, FTL drive, and everything?" Joker switched into a more business-like tone and leaned on the back of the chair.

"Yes, that was part of basic training at the Academy."

"So you got the basics, now all you're looking for is how to fly in style," he wiggled his eyebrows and winked at her.

"Clearly my options were slim if you're my instructor on style," Shepard shot back with a smirk of her own.

Joker merely answered with a significant look and a raised eyebrow.

"Ok," Shepard surrendered. "Teach me your ways oh great navigator of the stars."

"Are you going to take this seriously or not?" Joker asked.

"Sorry Joker, go ahead."

Joker started by giving Shepard a course to plot through the asteroid field around Omega. Joker thought it was better than the standard Alliance training courses. The Alliance courses were too predictable; this asteroid field had just the right amount of unpredictability and natural flow that Joker thought it was perfect.

Shepard navigated through the course the first time listening to Joker's instructions. The second time around Joker noticed she improved quite a bit, but still lacked a certain something.

"Try making your turns a little smoother," Joker instructed. "You have to feel the motion of the ship while it makes the turn. Don't just turn because that's what I told you to do; make it part of the journey, make it part of the dance."

"Dance?" Shepard asked.

"Here let me show you," he insisted. Joker leaned down so his face was right next to hers and put his right hand on top of her right hand. He could smell the same light scent of her shampoo. It was exactly how he remembered it too. He gave himself a mental shake and focused on teaching Shepard. They started through the course again.

"You have to feel the turn. Every time the ship shifts, so do you. Use your own equilibrium to help you anticipate, plan, and carry through to the next one. You-"

He froze as he became aware that Shepard had turned to look at him. He turned to meet her gaze

"What?" Joker asked looking right into her eyes. She was looking at him in a way he had never seen directed at him before; with a small smile and a crinkle around her eyes. It was the way she looked at her model ships when they were finally complete. Like she was seeing them for the first time the way they were meant to be seen. And now she was looking at him this way; he wasn't sure what to do. "What?" he repeated.

"Nothing! It's just," she hesitated, clearly trying to find the right words. "Nothing." Shepard turned to face the monitor again.

"Oh no," Joker insisted, grabbed the arms of the chair, and turned her to face him again. He put his eyes right back in front of hers again. "What is it Jane?"

"It's just," Shepard shrugged. "I've never heard you talk that way about anything before. Not even you're family. So serious; not even a drop of humor or sarcasm… it's nice." She stared into his eyes and he looked right back.

Joker suddenly noticed how close her face was to his. He could see her freckles, the faint scars Cerberus had left on her face, and the small cut on her bottom lip she received from her battle through the prison ship to get Jack.

The pilot was struck with a sudden desire to kiss her. Eight years of friendship with this woman and he wanted to take the chance, even with the possibility that she might yell at him, slap him, or throw him out of the airlock for trying; Joker wanted to take a chance and kiss her.

He had just made the decision to go for it when the room was flooded with a bright blue light.

"Commander Shepard," EDI interrupted. "The Illusive Man wishes to speak with you. He is waiting in the Communications Room." Joker immediately stood up and awkwardly adjusted his hat for something to do.

"Thank you EDI," she replied and stood up as well. "I'd better go take that."

"Right," Joker responded. "Go and, uh… tell him things."

She gave a small chuckle and started to walk down the hall. "Thanks for the lesson Joker."

"Anytime Shepard," he watched her walk through the doors on her way to the Communications Room.

Joker let out a frustrated sigh. "Yeah, that went well, definitely."

EDI popped up again, "I believe the lesson went very well Mr. Moreau. Shepard exhibited great improvement after your instruction. Perhaps with an additional lesson her technique would improve to the desired level."

"Another lesson?" Joker said as he resumed his usual sarcastic tone and sat down in his chair. "Yeah, that's just what I need."

* * *

_A/N: Wow this one took awhile! Apologies to everyone for the wait. I wanted this to be a certain way and kept changing things. I still might even go back and tweak it someday, but this is pretty close to the way I imagined this scene to go. Hope you guys liked it!_

_Passing anyone still keeping up with this story some hot cider through the internet! Today was our first chilly day (fall is on the way!) so I've been craving cider like nobody's business!_

_Semper ubi sub ubi!_


	21. Still Alive

**Still Alive**

"Joker, send the shuttle to pick us up. I've had enough of this colony."

"Aye-aye ma'am, on our way," Joker responded.

As soon as the team was on board, Joker handed the helm over to his copilot and made his way to the med bay. It had been a tough fight, which was not improved in any way by Kaidan being a complete and utter ass, but nonetheless he knew Shepard would be in the med bay. She had let out the kind of groan that meant she had gotten hit and hit hard. Joker wanted to make sure she was alright.

By the time he got down to the med bay, Shepard was starting the process of removing her armor. "Hey," Joker said. He grabbed her left arm and started unfastening the armor for her. "You okay?"

"I'm fine," she replied; too tired to protest his help. "I got attacked by a couple of husks and one of them got pretty close. I think he got under my armor somehow, my stomach's hurting pretty bad." By now Joker had finished helping with her greaves and shoulders and moved on to her torso.

As soon as it was off, Joker could see the injury. It was a large and deep gash and had cut right through her under armor. It started at the top left corner of her rib cage and ran all the way down to her right hip bone. Joker thought it even had a bluish tint to it.

"Sit down on the table. Dr. Chakwas?" Joker instructed and then summoned Chakwas. The doctor made her way over to the pair of them and started assessing the wound. Joker knelt down and removed Shepard's boots and final pieces of armor.

"I'm going to give you a shot of a fast acting antibiotics Shepard. It'll make you a bit drowsy so take the afternoon to rest," Chakwas directed.

"No Chakwas, I should-" Shepard started to say, but the doctor interrupted.

"Don't make me turn this into an order, Commander!" The doctor finished dressing Shepard's wound and adopted her own version of what Joker thought was a pretty good 'mom stare,' one that could rival Shepard's.

"Fine," Shepard completely deflated.

"Come on," Joker offered. "I'll walk you up there."

"I don't need someone to walk me up to my room, Joker. I'm not a child." As Shepard spoke, she stood up and wobbled a bit. Joker caught her arm and thought quickly.

"Well I wasn't going to say anything, but I really just wanted to check on the fish. There's a pool running on how long you can keep this batch alive. I wanted to see if I won this time," he countered.

Shepard threw very half-hearted punch at his shoulder.

"Careful, you know I bruise like a peach," Joker teased and linked her hand under his elbow. The two made their way over to the elevator and got in. Once the doors had closed, Joker felt Shepard's shoulders hunch and she rested her head on his shoulder.

"Rough day huh?" Joker asked.

"You have no idea," she responded. The elevator doors opened onto the top floor. "Do you want to come in for a bit?"

Joker nodded and they made their way into her cabin.

When they entered, Joker glanced over at the fish tank and threw up his arms in mock frustration. "No, they're still alive! How will I ever show my face in engineering again?"

Shepard let out a small chuckle while she dug some clothes out to change into. "Joker, when have you ever been down in engineering?"

"Plenty of times! It's just that most of them were when the ship was being built is all."

The Commander smiled and rolled her eyes and went into the bathroom to change. Joker walked over to look at her display of model ships while he waited. He noticed her collection was slowly growing despite all the missions they had been running around and doing. Joker noticed a small box on her desk and without thinking opened it.

Inside were a couple of paint brushes and small canisters of paint. It must be what she used to finish her models. Struck with a sudden idea, he took a quick look from the bathroom door to the box of paints and the model of the Normandy. Smiling to himself, Joker quickly put his plan into motion.

* * *

_A/N: So so sorry this took so long! I was going to make this another 2-in-1 but I decided you guys had been patient enough! Anyone have a guess as to what Joker's plan is? Anyone? :-)_

_Stella-Siha: Thanks for the pie! :-)  
Jules Hawk: Prawns and beer? Yes please!  
CyanB: I'm not sure what goes on in EDI's head quite yet. She hasn't told me what she thinks yet...  
2: Thank you so much!_

_On a random side note: Because I'm trying to keep my Shepard ambiguous I'm trying to keep details like eye color, hair color, and even her shampoo scent out of the story. But just for fun, what do some of your Shepard's look/smell like? My Shepard had really bushy strawberry blonde hair (just like me) but hazel eyes and I imagine she uses vanilla scented shampoo. How about yours?_

_Hope you guys are enjoying whatever your weather is changing to!_


	22. Beautiful

**Beautiful**

Shepard changed into some capri sweatpants and an old N7 t-shirt while thinking about Horizon. They went there to get answers and she left with more questions.

She splashed water on her face and stared at her reflection for a few seconds. The small scars she had received from Project Lazarus had almost completely faded by now. Shepard still didn't think she looked quite like herself though. It wasn't that her face didn't look like her face but there was still something missing. Something behind the eyes that she couldn't put her finger on and her encounter with Kaidan today had done nothing to help ease her mind. Shepard finished cleaning up by taking her hair down, brushing it out, and tying it back into a low ponytail. She gathered her under armor and threw it away; it must've been her 7th, no, 8th one she's ruined since coming back? Who was really keeping count anyway? Plus her head was already starting to get fuzzy from the antibiotics that Chakwas had given her.

By the time she exited the bathroom, Joker had deposited himself on her sofa. He certainly had made himself comfortable, she thought. He was seated in the corner of the couch and had his feet splayed on the table in front of him, his eyes were closed, and he was drumming his fingers on his stomach; all with a small, almost victorious, smile on his face.

"What's with you?" she asked.

He opened one eye and to look at her. "What do you mean?"

"You look," she struggled to find a word, taking in his all-too-comfortable stance. "I don't know, you look…" It clicked. "Suspicious! What did you do?"

Joker looked honestly affronted. "Why do you automatically think I've done something wrong?"

"Because I know you too well Joker! You look suspicious. What did you do?"

"Can't a guy look suspicious without it being a court martial offense?" Joker pleaded.

"Not when it's you! I remember what you did to my dorm room during finals week sophomore year and I'm telling you I'm not buying it. It took me three days to get all of the sand out of my carpet and I'm not going through something like that again. What did you do?" Shepard put her hands on her hips to emphasize her point. Shepard knew he called it her "mom stare" but she didn't care. It had worked since she was seventeen and had yet to fail her.

"You can look at me like that all you want but I'm telling you," Joker sat up. "I haven't done anything that would require any kind of a clean-up, I promise. Now will you please sit down and relax Jane? You need to rest so that cut can heal." He leaned back and gestured to the spot on the couch next to him.

Shepard shifted her weight back and forth while she thought. Her head was getting fuzzier from the medicine so she decided sitting down wasn't such a bad idea. With a sigh, she made herself comfortable next to Joker and propped her feet on top of the table as well.

"So," Joker started, switching his voice into a more serious tone. "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine Joker."

"Bullshit," he argued. "You got rocked in more ways than one on Horizon and so I'm asking you: how are you doing?"

Shepard sat and thought for a second. "I don't know, I guess. Sometimes it feels like we're not getting anywhere. Like every time a question gets answered, ten more pop into its place."

"And of course it doesn't help when you run into old friends and they act like a complete ass," Joker added.

"Hey don't blame Kaidan," Shepard said while she yawned. The medicine was really kicking in now. "He doesn't know the whole story of how I came back and now I'm working with an organization he's been taught to hate. To be honest if he had joined us, that would've been more suspicious."

She leaned her head up against Joker's shoulder. Shepard wasn't sure if it was the medicine or if she really hadn't noticed before but she thought he smelled nice. It was comforting. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, letting the drowsy effects take over.

"Joker?" she asked.

"Yes?"

"You smell nice."

"Thanks," he replied.

"Will you stay here while I sleep?"

"Sure."

"Good. You make a nice pillow," she informed him.

He let out a small chuckle. "I'll be sure to update my resume. Now go to sleep Jane."

"Ok," was the last thing Shepard remembered saying.

* * *

Joker looked at Shepard sleeping on his shoulder. Her features were relaxed for once, no trace of stress or concentration. Should he stay? She had asked and he said yes. _"Ah, what the hell?"_ he thought.

He swung his arm around her shoulders and pulled her into more comfortable position against his shoulder. Joker then laid his head back onto the couch and tugged his cap a little lower to shade his eyes.

He let out a deep sigh. Laying next to a beautiful woman? He could think of worse ways to spend an afternoon.

* * *

_A/N: Cuddle naps! Because sometimes you just need a human teddy bear that smells nice..._

_Reviewers: Fun to imagine all of your different Shepards with Joker! That man has a lot of women to maintain... Also, apparently I caused great concern when I mentioned that EDI wasn't talking to me. Don't worry! You can't rush a lady, she'll speak when she's ready! ;)  
Jules Hawk: I seriously wanna come by your house! Homemade beer? Sign me up!_

_Working diligently on the next chapter now. Excitement to come! :D_


	23. Start All Over

**Start All Over**

Jane opened her eyes and found herself lying on her couch with the pillow from her bed supporting her head and the comforter thrown over her. She glanced around and saw no sign of Joker, a fact, she realized, that disappointed her slightly. He really did make a good pillow, and she didn't feel as anxious when he was around. Sure they had to fight the Collectors, who had significantly higher fire power then they did, not to mention an added factor of being just plain creepy. But she noticed when Joker was around that the situation didn't seem as impossible or depressing.

The sound of her cabin's doors opening made her sit up and look around. Her heart jumped a little at the sight of Joker carrying in a food tray.

"Good you're awake! That means you can eat this while it's still warm," he announced while making his way down the stairs to the couch.

"What time is it?" Shepard asked.

"Almost eleven."

"At night?" she exclaimed. "Why didn't you wake me earlier?"

Joker let out a laugh. "Jane, you were practically comatose you were so out of it. The ship could have been boarded by the Collectors themselves and I doubt that you would have even twitched at the noise."

"Fine," Shepard conceded. Then after a long pause she finally asked, "What'd you bring me?"

"Only the best!" Joker replied and removed the tray's cover with a flourish.

"Is that a pizza?" she inquired. It smelled heavenly, just the way she remembered pizza smelling.

Joker handed her a slice and a napkin as he responded, "Yes, that right there is a perfect homemade pizza if I do say so myself."

"Homemade?"

"Yep! But don't get too excited. That right there is the limit of my cooking skills," Joker replied, grabbing a slice for his self. Through a mouthful of pepperoni he explained, "Mom used to yell at me when I was a teenager because I ordered so much pizza at the base and racked up a bill of credits. So, she insisted I learn to make my own pizza instead. The rest is history."

"How have I known you for eight years and you've never cooked me a pizza before now?" Shepard inquired.

"Well it's not like we had a fully equipped kitchen in our Alliance dorm rooms," Joker replied and began work on his second piece.

"Hmm…" Jane considered. She had finished her second piece and was getting thirsty. Without missing a beat, Joker pulled a six pack of beer from the side of the couch, uncapped two of the bottles, and handed one to Jane.

They sat in a comfortable silence while eating Joker's pizza and drinking beer. Jane suddenly remembered the events of earlier that day and pulled her shirt back to assess her wound.

"Sweet!" she exclaimed. The wound had fully healed but left a significant scar behind. There was even a slight blue hinge to it too still. Shepard looked up and smiled at Joker and was met with a look of shock mixed with a hint of apprehension.

"Sweet? That husk nearly ripped out your stomach! Why is a scar from that sweet?"

"Because I survived, that's why," Shepard explained and opened another beer for herself. "When you get a scar from battle, that's what shows you made it; that you have what it takes to fight and survive."

"Wouldn't be just as cool to emerge from a fight unscarred and shiny? With you running in slow motion while shit's blowing up behind you; then of course you'd have to take off your helmet and flip your magically untangled and clean hair too," Joker added.

Jane nearly snorted her beer through her nose from trying not to laugh. "No Joker!" she gasped while regaining her breath. "That's exactly my point though, when you just tell the story and have nothing to show for it, it's just that; a story. Getting a scar makes it real. That's sort of what I was trying to explain to you earlier, on our first night on this ship. Looking at myself it was like I had to start all over. The scars, for me, were always what made it real. I would look down and remember the story of how I got the scar and it would help me organize myself and my thoughts." Shepard shrugged and tried to explain it better.

"It's like having a childhood friend that you had to move away from and you left without getting a picture of them. You know they were real and you have your memories of them, but without something to look at, after while the memories start to sound like just stories. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah it does actually," Joker answered. "Scars are what show what you've been through right? Because if you got through something without a scar to show for it, people would just assume that what you were doing was easy in the first place."

Shepard was shocked at his accurate summary of her little speech.

"You know I have a few scars of my own Shepard. My being able to walk wasn't just a happy accident while Cerberus was reviving you. Not to mention the surgeries I had as a kid too," Joker supplied with a shrug.

"Ha! I knew you couldn't look this good without a little help from some fancy-pants doctors," Jane quipped.

"Alright, I think you've had enough pain meds and beer for one day," he replied while standing up. "I've got an early shift tomorrow and you need to get a good night sleep. The Crazy-Eyed Man has some more psychos for you to collect and bring home."

Shepard stood up as well and stretched. She had been on that couch all afternoon and her back muscles let her know that it was not something to repeat in the near future. Joker made his way to the door then turned back one more time to face Shepard.

"Goodnight Commander. Hope your dreams are filled with blue scars and stuff!"

"Goodnight Flyboy. Hope your dreams are filled with slow motion explosions and hair-flipping ladies."

Joker chuckled at her comment and exited. Without being fully conscious of what she was doing, Shepard grabbed the pillow he'd been sitting on off of the couch and flopped it onto her bed. She then turned off the lights and curled up with her head on it and drifted off to sleep with a content smile on her face.

* * *

Joker laid awake in his cot and tried to fall asleep. He rolled over onto his side with an exasperated sigh. Really, it had been much more comfortable to fall asleep on Shepard's couch.

_"And had she said you were good-looking?"_ Joker thought to himself. Or was he just trying to convince himself that she was flirting with him because that's what he wanted to hear?

He let out another sigh and punched his pillow into a more comfortable shape. After about an hour of _"Did she or didn't she flirt?"_ debates rolling around in his head, Joker finally managed to fall into dreams of slow motion explosions and a certain hair-flipping lady.

* * *

_A/N: SOOOOOO, so sorry this took so long! Between a car accident and hospital visits, let's just say I haven't been feeling particularly creative this past month. Don't you hate it when real life gets in your way? Someone go wag a finger at it! So basically Joker and Jane have been napping for the last what like 40 days or so? That's totally healthy right?_

_Anyway, welcome new followers and reviewers! I promise this story gets updated more frequently than it looks. Just ignore the dust marks and spray some air freshener!_

_Passing you all some lemons tonight since life has handed me plenty enough to go around... ;-)_


	24. Everything

**Everything**

The next month consisted of Shepard collecting even more crew mates including Tali. Not that he had met many over the years, but Tali had to be Joker's favorite quarian. He figured the Normandy liked her too. The engines always seemed to run a lot smoother when she was on board.

Joker could tell he wasn't the only one excited to see Tali. Garrus actually ventured out of the battery to greet her when she came on board.

Joker wacthed the exchange the two had when Tali had entered through the airlock.

"Tali'Zorah! It's about time another dextro came aboard. Maybe now the Mess Sergeant will get some decent food for us to eat," Garrus heartily greeted her.

Not that it was easy to tell through her helmet, but Joker was sure Tali was slightly taken aback at Garrus greeting her in person. Shepard walked over to stand next to Joker's chair to watch the exchange.

"Thanks Vakarian, but I'm not here for the food. I'm here to help Shepard stop the Collectors," she replied and crossed her arms and cocked her head in a questioning manner.

"Of course, I mean… I didn't mean that… um…" Garrus hopelessly struggled for words.

"I know," Tali helpfully offered then scratched her helmet. "I was just trying to be funny. Obviously it didn't work. But it's good to see you. Maybe we can look for some turian chocolate next time we swing by the Citadel or something? I'm sure they only have the basic dextro rations and not any of the good stuff."

"Yeah!" Garrus exclaimed. "I mean sure, that sounds good. I'll try to find a break in my calibrations to work in a Citadel visit."

Garrus turned in what Joker assumed was supposed to be a smooth manner and walk away, but the effect was slightly ruined when the turian turned back around after only two steps.

"Oh yeah," Garrus remarked. "I took a preliminary scan of the engine's stats when I heard you were coming aboard. I thought you would want to see them."

He handed her the datapad he had been holding onto since he arrived.

"Oh, thanks. That was nice," Tali replied.

Garrus made a sort of noncommittal noise, then turned and walked away once more to the elevator. Joker was sure that if no one had been around, the turian would have sprinted to it instead.

Tali stared at the elevator where Garrus had disappeared and seemed to be lost in her own thoughts. Joker decided to break the silence so he stood up, cleared his throat, held out his hand and said, "Glad to have you back onboard Tali. It's always nice to have a familiar face when you're going up against impossible odds."

Tali walked over and shook Joker's hand. "I'm glad to be back too. Anything I should know about this new Normandy before I take a look at her engines?"

"Just that there's a nosy AI looking over your shoulder the whole time," he replied. "Hey," his voice dropped to a stage whisper. "If you can figure out how to uninstall it without compromising ship systems, I'll get you all the dextro candy you could ask for!"

Shepard turned to give Joker an exasperated look while Tali just giggled.

"I'll see what I can do Joker, but just know that everything and anything I do won't be without Shepard's permission first. It's her you have to convince, not me."

Tali turned and walked away to the elevator as well.

Joker sat down in his chair and turned to face the helm while Shepard settled into her customary chair to the right of him.

"Well that was interesting," Shepard commented while removing her armor. "I don't think I've ever seen Garrus that nervous. Not even during the Sovereign attack on the Citadel."

"Well you know what they say. 'Love is a battlefield' and as far as I'm concerned, it's the scariest one out there," Joker replied.

"Really Joker? You know you have nothing to worry about in that department," Shepard offered.

Joker merely scoffed at her remark.

"Hey don't sell yourself short Joker," Shepard argued. "You've got a good build, nice eyes, you're funny as hell, and underneath all those sarcastic comments, there's a caring man that has your back no matter what."

Joker could feel his ears redden a little at her sincere words, but that wasn't going to stop him from saying something back. "This PSA about self-image was brought to you by Commander Shepard. And remember kids, if you think you look bad, imagine how the Vorcha must feel."

"Joker!" Shepard choked out between snorts of laughter. "I was being serious!"

"I know," he responded. "Thanks."

* * *

Jane couldn't believe what she had just said. Sure, everything she said about him was true, but even now she wasn't sure what made her say it. For the last month or so, every time she ventured up to the cockpit to talk to Joker she seemed to notice more and more about him; the way his uniform showed off his arm muscles very nicely, the way his eyes seemed to glow when she succeeded in making him laugh for once, and even the way he smelled seemed stronger. Or had it always been there and it was only now that she was just noticing it?

They had been sitting in a comfortable silence for the last couple of minutes. Joker was running some diagnostics while Shepard watched him work. He really did have a nice build; she had always thought so.

You would never guess that he had brittle bone disease just by looking at him. When she first met him at orientation all those years ago she had thought he was cute and was taken aback when he pulled out crutches from his seat after orientation was finished. After a few weeks of getting to know him better Shepard discovered he was an extremely dedicated student. With all of Joker's advanced flight training classes, as well as her own load of combat and diplomacy training, thoughts of asking him out had faded to a distant memory. Plus, they had become such good friends over the years, it hadn't even crossed Shepard's mind anymore.

He was her best friend; always has been. But why, all of the sudden, did she find him so attractive? She had had a similar feeling back on the old Normandy; right after the whole Sovereign business had been resolved. At the time, Jane had merely assumed it was a bit of residual euphoria from the success of it all and that it would go away eventually. But the few days of scouting for Geth ships had done nothing to rid herself of the feeling. And then of course the Collectors attacked, she died, and when she woke up, all of her emotions were so confused from being resurrected that it had taken awhile to sort them out.

But now they had everyone they needed onboard, and the crew had developed a sort of rough daily routine. Shepard had a chance to think about things, Joker among them, and she still wasn't sure what she felt. Maybe it was the knowledge that this mission might not be as successful as they all hoped, or maybe it was the idea that she had been given a second chance at life, or hell, maybe it was seeing Garrus and Tali's attempt at flirting with each other that made her wish she had some romance in her life too.

Jane smiled a bit at the thought of those two together. Garrus was a bit rough around the edges and could be harsh at times, but she thought Tali's good nature and general optimism about everything would help soften the turian up a bit.

"Okay, what?" Joker suddenly said.

"Hm?" Shepard replied.

"You've been staring at me for the last ten minutes. What is it?"

Shepard froze. She hadn't realized that during her thought process she had been staring at him.

"Sorry. I wasn't trying to stare, just thinking I guess."

"Ah, no wonder it took so long then," Joker said with a teasing wink. "What about?"

Shepard was saved answering by a voice through the intercom.

"Commander Shepard?"

"Go ahead Garrus."

"I'd like to talk to you about something, would you be able to come down to the battery?"

"On my way Garrus," Shepard replied and gathered up her discarded armor.

Joker handed her a gauntlet that had rolled under his chair and said, "I'll bet you he's going to ask how to woo a lady."

"Right," Shepard took her gauntlet from him. "Because I'm such an expert on that subject."

"Oh come on. I bet you a round of drinks at the Citadel that that's exactly what he called you for."

"You're on Flyboy." Shepard shook his hand and made her way to the elevator.

_"Please, please, PLEASE don't talk to me about women, Garrus."_ Shepard thought desperately as headed down one deck.

* * *

_A/N: Thanks everyone for the well wishes! That was very nice of you! :) So... I'm contemplating about writing a companion one-shot of Garrus and Tali, thoughts? It would basically be their story that's in my head-canon for this story that you don't see here._

_Also, I've been getting some messages from people requesting if they can make some fanart based off of my story, to which I say, hellz yeah! It'll be exciting to see what scenes, characters, etc. people decide to draw!_

_Anyway, passing you guys some Chex Mix tonight! I made a giant batch for all my work peeps and have lots left over now..._


	25. Alone

**Alone**

"Got everything ready to go?" Joker asked.

"Yeah," Shepard replied. "I think I've done everything I can for everyone."

"I'll say!" Joker agreed. For the last month or so they had been running around the galaxy doing favors for just about everyone on the crew. She even picked up rations on the Citadel and some extra engineering parts for Donnelly and Daniels from Omega.

At first Miranda had told Shepard that all these favors were just a waste of time and that they should focus on the mission. However, Miranda quickly changed her view when her sister was in danger. She had asked for Shepard's help and without even blinking, Shepard set a course for Illium.

After that, Miranda seemed to become a lot more, dare he say it, friendlier. Joker swore he even saw her laugh in the mess once.

During this whole time, Shepard had started to teach Joker how to shoot too. And he was pleased to think he wasn't that bad. While he wasn't sniping targets with a perfect headshot right between the eyes like Shepard was, he at least hit the target each time, usually in the chest or stomach. He had even gained a preference too, preferring the assault rifles over the pistols and shotguns.

Shepard had laughed when he mentioned that after one lesson

"Why is that funny?" Joker questioned.

"Well, people like to say that certain guns appeal to certain personalities or fighting styles. For example, a sniper rifle can mean that you're patient but a bit of a perfectionist too. A pistol can mean you're very goal driven, and a believer in a 'less is more' kind of attitude, but also a bit short sighted as well."

"And?" Joker prompted. "What does an assault rifle mean?"

Shepard grinned and simply said, "Run-and-gun."

Joker replied with a confused quirk of his eyebrows and Shepard explained, "It means you follow your instincts, some might say to a fault, but you get the job done. You don't bother with cover or too much accuracy; you get in, get out, and shoot anything in your way."

"Really?"

"Really! And I think it's perfect for you too. You've pulled my ass out of so many situations and close calls without out a second thought. If you had stopped on any one of those situations to think instead of going with your gut, I wouldn't be here today."

Joker had liked that assessment he decided. He figured if he had trained to be an actual soldier and not just a pilot, he would most definitely be the kind to shoot first and ask questions later. _"And that's why Shepard's in charge."_

A few weeks after that, they had not only acquired the Reaper IFF, but their very own personal geth to with it too.

Joker smiled a bit at that thought. Only one person in the whole galaxy would be able to have a single geth on their side and not think it was weird. Shepard had even convinced Tali to work with it, although it did take a while to talk Tali down from shooting it.

Legion had then asked for Shepard's help in disabling the hostile geth and she agreed. Even though she hadn't laughed at Joker's robot impression on the bridge, he could see the smile in her eyes and knew she was simply trying to remain in 'soldier mode' at the time.

Now Shepard sighed and leaned against the side of the helm. "I don't know if I'm comfortable leaving you alone on the ship though."

"Alone? I'll hardly be alone Shepard," Joker countered. "It's not like the entire engineering crew can fit into a shuttle."

"I know I just… I'd feel better if I left one of my squad mates onboard with you guys."

"Hey," Joker reached out and held onto one of her wrists and gave it a light squeeze. "We'll be fine. I promise. If anything I'm worried about you."

"Worried about me? Why?" Shepard inquired crossing her arms.

"Stuck on a crowded shuttle with Zaaed, Grunt, and Jack? Not to mention a singing salarian as well? You're the one who's going to need some luck."

Shepard chuckled, "I suppose that's true." She rested a hand on Joker's shoulder which gave him a tingly sensation in his stomach. "Take care of her Joker."

"Aye-aye Commander."

* * *

_A/N: I bet you all can guess what's coming next! With any luck I'll be able to post the next chapter by tonight. It's already written just going through revisions and crap. Hope you all are still liking it and thanks for everyone keeping up with the story. Hugs to all!_


	26. All I Can Do

**All I Can Do**

_"What the shit?"_ Was the only thing going through Joker's mind as he clambered through the crawlways in the Normandy. The Collectors were onboard the Normandy; _his_ ship, _his_ baby! No way, no fucking way were they going to take it. Even if it meant unshackling that damned AI.

Joker had promised Jane that he would be fine without her and her squad on the Normandy. Well so much for that promise.

Damn it his knees hurt too! Why, just _why_ did they have to make these spaces so small?

By now, Joker had made it to engineering. He started to climb up the stairs but stopped as a shadow loomed across the wall in front of him. He was sure the Collector would hear his heart beat hammering in his ears but thankfully it exited with its cargo in tow. Joker tried desperately not to think about what that container must have inside of it.

"Engineering is clear of hostiles. Proceed immediately to minimize chances of detection." EDI instructed him. Joker stepped up to the console the red lights indicated.

As soon as he approached, EDI continued, "Activate the drive and I will open the airlocks as we accelerate. All hostiles will be killed."

"What? What about the crew?" Joker disputed.

"They are gone, Jeff. The Collectors took them," she answered.

"Shit," was all Joker could manage to say.

He was alone; the last one left on the Normandy again. This time though, Shepard wasn't aboard to save him.

_"Good,"_ he found himself thinking. _"At least this time if I die, it'll end like it's supposed to; me going down with the ship, and her living to save the galaxy, one evil alien at a time."_

He proceeded to the main drive console as EDI locked down engineering. With a single push of a button, Joker gave EDI control of the ship.

"I have control," was the last thing Joker remembered EDI saying before he was flung back onto the floor from the acceleration.

As he lay there he thought about Jane. What she was doing right now and if she knew what was going on. Joker thought some part of her must know. She had already had a bad feeling before leaving the ship. Now that Joker thought of it, Shepard had had the same feeling before the Virmire mission. She had told him so right before they disembarked.

Instantly, Joker's mind was filled with 'should haves.' He should've paid attention to her instincts more, should've talked to her more, should've let her know how glad he was that they were friends; should've told her how he really felt about her…

Joker let out a groan and leaned forward. He wasn't entirely sure if he was merely flung to the ground just seconds ago, or if he had passed out for a time at all. Very slowly he started to stand up. He could hear the engines running and sense the movement of the ship through the floor. He assumed that meant that the Normandy was out of danger.

Thinking of Jane he said, "Send a message to Shepard's shuttle. Tell her what happened."

He started to walk away but suddenly the pain from his knees from crawling through the ducts caught up with him. Joker let out another groan and sunk back down to sit on the floor.

"Message away. Are you feeling well, Jeff?" EDI responded.

"No," he sighed, trying to keep his voice from shaking. "But thanks for asking."

Not being able to do anything else, Joker simply sat there, with his face in his hands, and waited for the shuttle to return.

* * *

"Can't you make this go any faster?" Shepard yelled.

"It's all I can do, Commander," Kasumi replied. Miranda had received a message from EDI that the Collectors had attacked the Normandy and everyone onboard was gone. Garrus thought Shepard had nearly fainted before Miranda hastily added, reading from EDI's message, that only one crew member had survived and it was Joker.

Ever since, Shepard had been frantic to get back to the Normandy. Kasumi was doing all she could to make the shuttle go faster but there was only so much you could push the engines to. Garrus had never, not once, seen Shepard this worked up over anything.

The closest he could think of was after Ashley had died on Virmire but still, this was different. Back then, Shepard had been shocked into an almost catatonic state. This, this frazzled, panicked Shepard was nothing compared to that. For once, Garrus was at a complete loss for what to do to help her, afraid that anything he said would simply cause her to panic more.

"As soon as we're back onboard I want everyone to head to their stations and report back to me with what they find," Shepard instructed her squad mates.

By now they were within visual range of the Normandy.

"EDI, where is Joker located?" Shepard asked.

"He is located in main engineering."

"Thanks EDI," the Commander replied. They were almost completely docked and Shepard jumped off of the shuttle before it had completed landing. She took off at a sprint, leaving all of her weapons behind, and climbed up the emergency ladder to get to engineering; not bothering with the elevator at all.

Garrus heard Tali mentioning that she wanted to head to engineering as well to check the engine status and Jack mumbling that she'd help her out. The turian reached out and gently grabbed both of their arms.

"I think you better wait a bit on that. Let Shepard talk to Joker first," Garrus instructed. The two ladies simply nodded in agreement and the three of them proceeded to help clean up the cargo bay.

* * *

Joker could hear the sounds of someone making their way towards engineering. He slowly stood up, but leaned against the wall for support. He was still pretty sure he wasn't able to walk that far without someone's help.

The pilot heard a loud clang and what sounded like someone tripping right below him. He wondered why they hadn't used the elevator but whoever it was, was already sprinting up the stairs. He turned his head just in time to see the most frantic looking Shepard he'd ever seen running towards him at full speed, before she slammed her way into him with a full blown kiss on the mouth.

Joker should've have been shocked at what was happening and perhaps he would have been under normal circumstances, but with the near death experiences he had just had in the last hour or so, and the idea that life is goddamned gift, he responded with equal, if not more, enthusiasm.

His hands were instantly around her, one wrapped around her waist, and the other in the mess of hair that used to be a bun. Jane's arms were thrown around his neck and she was nearly crushing him into the wall behind him but he didn't care. Every bone in his body could have been shattered and he would have died happy right there.

After a minute or two, or maybe an hour, Joker really wasn't sure, they broke apart. Both of them were breathing pretty heavily and still holding onto one another; Shepard leaned her forehead against his, let out a sigh, and said, "You are never allowed to do that to me again, understand?"

"My bad; next time the ship is invaded, I'll let the aliens know that I really can't be in any more dangerous situations so if they would, please, find another ship to commandeer, that'd be great," Joker replied, grinning despite himself.

Shepard moved her head back slightly to look at Joker with a raised eyebrow.

"Although if this is the greeting I can expect when coming out of perilous situations, I may have to encounter them on a day to day basis," he added with a quirk of his smile.

Shepard was too tired to even laugh, but simply let out a shaky sigh, shook her head and smiled.

"Commander?" Miranda's voice came over the intercom. "We've all regrouped in the conference room and are awaiting your orders."

"We'll be there in a minute. Tell Mordin to prep a first-aid kit for Joker too," she replied. Then she turned to look at Joker, furrowed her eyebrows, and started searching the floor for something. Joker was about to ask what when she leaned down, picked up his hat, and placed it back on his head.

"I don't even remembering it falling off," Joker exclaimed and accepted Jane's arm to help him start walking. The two made their way up to the conference room in a comfortable and contented silence.

* * *

_A/N: This scene, right here, is the exact scene I imagined since the first time I even played the game. In fact, I had this scene written even before I decided to write an entire fanfiction about these two. And no, this isn't the end of the story! We're only just beginning!_

_Now go kiss someone. Doesn't matter who, just go kiss them because everyone deserves a good kiss now and then!_


	27. Secrets

**Secrets**

Jane sat in the empty mess after the squad's meeting in the briefing room and looked at all the empty chairs around her. This was usually the place where you could find at least one other crewman, if not a couple, lounging about before or after their shifts. Now it was empty, and the silence echoed in Jane's ears making her uncomfortable.

Every step she took in the ship seemed to echo too loudly in her ears. All of her squad mates were locked into their various hideaways. She would've gone up to her cabin to pass the time but it just didn't seem right.

Shepard had wandered away from the mess hall to around the front of the elevator. Her eyes were drawn to a single door in the hallway and without really asking her brain's opinion, her feet took her through the entrance to the crew quarters.

It was a bit strange how normal everything looked. Beds weren't made, there were posters haphazardly attached to the walls and ceiling; she even saw what looked like an old earth board game hastily stashed under one of the bunks.

On an Alliance ship, this kind of disorganization would never have been allowed, but Shepard liked it better this way. After all, if you can't be yourself even in your off hours, when can you be?

One by one, she looked at each of the beds. There was a poster of Sha'ira next to one of the beds which she knew must belong to Matthews. Shepard could hear him talking about the consort almost every time she ventured up to the cockpit. Another bunk had _The Complete and Unabridged History of Drive Cores and Their Impact on Planetary Ecosystems _lying on its pillow_;_ Daniels bunk for sure. Eventually she made her way to the back of the room and spotted a very neatly made bunk.

Smiling to herself, she walked over to it and laid a hand on the comforter. _"A perfectly made bed by Alliance standards,"_ Shepard thought to herself. This must be Joker's bed; old habits die hard. She made her bed every morning too, even though it was monstrous.

Slowly she ran her hand up the comforter as if checking for wrinkles. Her hand got all the way to the top edge and under the pillow when her fingertips hit something hard.

Curiosity getting the better of her, Jane pulled out something flat from underneath the pillow and flipped it over. She let out a small gasp as she looked into the much younger faces of herself and Joker. It was the picture they had taken just after Joker's graduation from flight school.

Jane had been so proud of him that day and so honored that he let her be his friend. A few tears had started running down her cheeks. She thought the picture was lost or destroyed when the first Normandy went down but apparently not. Somehow Joker had gotten his hands on it.

* * *

Joker was checking and double checking all of the Normandy's stats when he heard the elevator doors open. He knew who it was without even looking. It was only a matter of time before one of them sought the other out. If she hadn't come up within the next five minutes, he would've gone to find her instead.

He felt a hand on his right arm and looked up and saw a pale and very misty eyed Shepard.

"Jeff?" She quietly uttered his name in the form of a question that needed no more explanation.

Without a word, he merely held out his arms to her and she crawled onto his lap, sitting sideways on the chair with her head on his shoulder, and held onto him as she started to cry. Joker hugged her to him while she cried. He knew she needed this release. The pilot even felt a hot tear or two running down his own face.

"I'm sorry," Jane said after a few minutes. "I know you're not big on the touchy-feely stuff."

"Jane," Joker started wiping some of her tears away with his thumb. "You don't ever have to be sorry to cry in front of me. In fact I'd say you deserve to shed a few tears. My mom told me something once when I was trying to relearn how to walk after a surgery. I kept falling and got so frustrated that I threw my crutches against the wall and sat down and cried. I felt like a complete failure. Mom simply came over, put her arm around my shoulders and said that tears aren't something to apologize for or feel ashamed about. They are a sign of when a person has been strong for too long."

Jane gave him a small smile and said, "Thank you. I knew deep down you were big old softie." She let out a small chuckle.

"Hey now, don't let it get around. We have to keep these secrets. I need to protect my badass pilot reputation!"

"Speaking of secrets," Jane prompted. "How long?"

"What?"

"How long have you liked me?" Jane inquired.

"Uh…" Joker struggled. Obviously they had to talk about this at some point. He had hoped it wouldn't be until after the Omega 4 Relay; but then again, last time he waited to tell her something, he never got the chance.

"I'll tell you, if you tell me," she offered.

Joker took a breath, "I don't know if I can nail it down to an exact moment. Sometimes I think it was all the way back in junior year at the Academy and sometimes I think it was while we were on the first Normandy. The only thing I know for sure is that it became apparent when you died, I knew I had lost someone very special to me, and I had lost her without telling her the truth."

Jane smiled at him. "Okay, now it's you turn!" Joker declared.

"Well, it's sort of the same as you where I'm not sure if there was a particular moment that it clicked. I know I liked you for a bit too in our Academy days but I never did anything about it and it sort of faded away. I always thought you were attractive but-"

"Wait? You thought I was attractive? Even back in my crutches days?" Joker interrupted.

"Yes Joker, I did. Is it so hard for you to believe that you really are a dashing and handsome Alliance pilot?"

"Does that mean you'll be throwing your underclothes at me soon?" Joker couldn't resist throwing in their old joke.

"My point, before you interrupted me that is," Jane continued, trying to look stern but still sporting half a smile. "My point is that I think I always liked you but never knew what to do about it. I mean we're friends and I never wanted anything to ruin that. It sounds sappy but when I left Mindoir I had no family left and felt alone in the galaxy. Did you know that for the two years I was in the Alliance Prep School Program that I didn't laugh or smile or anything like that? People would try to cheer me up but they never could. I did all my school work simply because it was something to do; something to distract me from being alone.

"But then I sat next to you at orientation, and somehow you made me laugh without even trying." Jane stopped at this point and looked directly into his eyes.

"What I am trying to say is, you became my family Jeff, and I never wanted to ruin that. That's why I went after you when the first Normandy was going down. I'd lost my family once and I wasn't going to let it happen again. After Cerberus brought me back and I saw you for the first time again, you don't know how close I was to kissing you right there and then," she finished with a giggle.

"Aww man! See, this is why I need to come back from dangerous situations more often," Joker teased. He reached out a hand around the back of her neck, and pulled her into a kiss anyway.

It was a lot different from their first kiss, nothing too fast, nothing too passionate, just a brief kiss that conveyed the feelings they had just talked about and a few they hadn't as well.

After they broke apart Jane asked, "How long until we hit the Omega relay?"

"About two hours," he replied.

"I should get some rest then." Jane started to stand up to leave but Joker stopped her.

"You could just stay here. I don't mind. Plus, I seem to recall someone mentioning that I made a pretty good pillow that also smells nice," Joker added.

Jane let out single chuckle then settled back down into a more comfortable position against his shoulder.

Joker made the announcement to the ship that they'd be arriving in two hours then handed the reigns over to EDI.

He tipped the seat back a bit and held Jane a little closer to him. By the sounds of her breathing he guessed she had already fallen asleep.

"EDI, inform us when we have twenty minutes left until we hit the relay and dim the lights a bit in the cockpit too would you please?"

"Understood Jeff," she replied, bringing the lights down as he requested. "I hope you find your sleeping arrangements conducive to pleasant unconscious imaginings."

"EDI," Joker responded with a smile. "You just have to say 'sweet dreams.'"

"Sweet dreams."

* * *

An hour had passed since Garrus had heard Joker's announcement. He was sure the pilot would still be in his chair and Garrus wanted to talk about the last minute calibrations he had made to the Thanix Cannon.

He reached the CIC and started to make his way to the cockpit when he stopped. The lights looked dimmer than usual and the silhouette of Joker's chair didn't look the same either.

It took a few seconds but Garrus then figured out why. Shepard and Joker were sound asleep in the cockpit. It looked as if the Commander and the pilot had finally talked to each other. He had guessed something happened in engineering when they came back after the Collector attack but didn't want to ask them about it. Now however it was confirmed.

The turian silently chuckled to himself and made his way back to the elevator.

Maybe he could take a chance himself and see how Tali was doing in engineering.

With a final look at the cockpit before the elevator doors closed, Garrus thought to himself, _"It's about damn time."_

* * *

_A/N: *Happy sighs* So glad I've reached this point of the story! Thanks again to all those still keeping up with it!_

_Extra bonus point to any who can tell me who inspired EDI's dialogue in this chapter! ;)_

_Also the joke that Joker and Shepard are referring to is the one all the way back in Chapter 3: Jump._


End file.
